If You're the Wiser: The Burden Rest With You To Do Right

When you're the wiser, the burden rest with you to do the right thing. This is what my father constantly preached. Adeptly, what he meant was: No matter how wrong the other person/entity is during heated moments or moments during which rationale discourse isn't attainable, and you know better as to how the situation should be handled, or you have sufficient facts that could possibly quell [the emotionally-charged] situation, it is your responsibility to take-low, stand-down, be patient, and tolerant enough to add a positive spin to achieve peace and harmony. Even when your feelings have been clobbered the burden rest with you to do/say the right thing or whatever is required to fix a situation. (I know: It's tough until you get the hang of it. I use to always say damn before I ventured to do or say what was right for the moment. Now that I have perfected getting my ass kicked without reacting, I no longer have a need to say damn beforehand. I'm now like Nike: I just do it! Naturally!)

During my hot-headed youth, such wisdom did not rest well with me because my natural reaction was to challenge evil, be blunt about it, psychologically destroy the enemy, and otherwise have zero tolerance for ignorance (one not knowing what's expected of them to know). Boy, oh boy! Back then, I just could not understand the extent and weightiness of my father's wisdom. I deemed him to be a punk about certain situation. But of course I was immature and wrong about most things.

My father, on numerous occasions, conveyed to us--even had us to write essays over-and-over again about the following advise until we grasped the essence of what he was telling us.

He would say: "The only thing you will ever truly own is your integrity. The only thing you will ever be able to completely control is your mouth. And there are no words that should ever entice or invite your temper to rear its ugly self to argue or fight. The sole issue for which you should engage an uprising for is your integrity because it is all you will ever own, and it is structured by how you live your life. Act good; do good; and praise good. Your integrity is your legacy and it is the only thing you must protect besides your physical-self. I first encourgage you to walk away/run if necessary--if you can--in defense of your physical-self; and provide proof in defense of your integrity--nothing more is required; nothing less is to be accepted.

"If you fail to control what comes out of your mouth, or your attempts to control others and situations can make you a ghost. Words create wars. Words anger and destroy. Words are dangerous because they maim the heart, mind, and spirit; and once they're unleashed you can never retrieve or erase them. Trying to control someone or something is stressful harmfully so and can cause strokes, heart-attacks, or provoke unintended consequences that could prove to be deadly. Either way: Not controlling your mouth or trying to control someone/something that you absolutely cannot and do not control can turn you into a ghost--in an instant."

Now that I am older and wiser, my father's wisdom--to this day/to this very second--humbes me. I carry his countless words of wisdom like a badge of honor, and often refer/utilize them in my everyday life experiences. Reaching back and latching on to his wisdom gives me peace, strength, and courage to keep it moving, while ignoring and dodging the scorns of life.

Decades ago, I abandoned my attack method of communicating or dealing with the evil, not-so-wise, or menacing individuals and situations. Rather, I now employ a tactic that my father use to frequently joke about--and made us laugh heartedly every time he said it. He would say: "When they come after you, for aero-dynamic affect, lower your neck, tuck your head between your shoulder blades and run like hell ducking and weaving in a serpentine fashion, and keep running and never look back because looking back kills the aero-dynamics of your get-away by slowing you down." Now, I do exactly that--figuratively.

In retrospect, me and my siblings could not stand it whenever our father cornered us to lecture us about conduct and life, especially when he showed up with pencils and paper. If we demonstrated any semblance of boredom or intolerance, he reached down and smacked us without ever skipping a syllable in his unyielding commentary. He would go on for hours--honestly! Hours!. Whenever our friends showed up, they were held captive and made to listen and participate. They quickly learned my father's body language and tone to know when one of his life-lessons was about to begin, and they made all kinds of excuses to leave--each one invoking what their mother said they had to do. But over the many decades since my childhood, many of our friends recalled the wisdom my father forced upon them, and how it helps them navigate life's sometimes rugged terrain.

I encourage you to impart my father's shared wisdom on your children, family, friends, and perhaps yourself. It works! Take it from a former hot-head who believed I had to verbally and psychologically fight for the world.

Saishe!