The Covenant:
A Paradigm Shift of Economic Behavior
Of African-American Women (Men and Children)
By Karen Sommerfield, Community/Political Activist
Chicago, IL karenks@sbcglobal.net
MISSION STATEMENT
The goal is to inspire African-American women to initiate a cohesive proactive strategy to improve the abysmal social and economic conditions that have virtually turned our communities into “killing fields.” The extreme and soaring level of poverty and despair, especially among our men and youth, demands our immediate action.
Our failure to effectively address the dangerous socio-economic issues/structures confronting us today guarantees a future for our children that will be far worse than our foremothers and forefathers ever experienced. In fact, we’re already there because our children are killing one another! How worse does it have to get before we act to help one another help our children? It cannot get any worse than our children killing us and one another.
Economic Summit of Minds
The first “question” is: Who must initiate key processes to effectively reconcile the spiraling/out-of-control economic and social devastation permeating the core of African-American’s societal existence?
The true answer: Us.
It is our responsibility to improve the ghastly social and staggering economic conditions among African-Americans, and there should be absolutely no vacillation in acknowledging our responsibility to do so. Starting right now we must collectively agree to be of “one-mind” with the same goal(s), and without further delay, develop/refine and implement “The Covenant.” Godspeed!
As women, we are definers of our destiny as demonstrated by our foremothers, and the finest among us—the economic and social engineers—who understand the complexities we face, and are quite capable of planning, implementing, and spearheading strategies to alleviate the saturating socio-economic degradation plaguing our communities must answer the “call” to step forward and take the lead in advocating and guiding our people on to a path of social tranquility and economic prosperity where our sons and daughters will and must become—in many areas—majority beneficiaries of our efforts and the billions of dollars that we contribute to America’s economy. It’s that simple.
It is our responsibility, as women, to rekindle the practices of our foremothers who courageously battled endless naysayers, oppressors, and degrading circumstances. Many of whom sacrificed their dignity and lives so that we—their descendants—could have opportunities to live far better lives than they ever imagined. We dropped the ball long time ago. But now we must pick it up and run with it so that our descendants will be granted the same opportunities provided to us through the struggles and victories of our foremothers. We must commit for the sake of our offspring, especially our sons—who desperately deserve unalienable rights to become responsible, self-reliant men who can and want to meet the challenges of supporting their families and raising their children. There should not ever be an instance where we are not willing to make that possible for them.
The Paradigm Shift of Economic Behavior
We must cease financing our economic oppression by largely changing how, where, and with/through whom we shop thereby transferring a great percentage of the “half-trillion-dollars+” we contribute to America’s economy to African-American owned businesses, [professional] service providers, and salespeople.
The second question is: How do we parlay our contributions to the economy to achieve meaningful and successful economic development, i.e., business and employment opportunities?
The only feasible answer right now is: Shifting our collective economic behavior in ways that will immediately contribute to the economic sustainment, expansion, and creation of African-American businesses, including immediately start utilizing [professional] service providers such as doctors, attorneys, accountants, tax preparers, investment advisers, insurance agents/brokers, salons, department store and car salesmen/women, lawn care/home repair contractors, etc. Only spend our money where African-Americans are employed--and when we spend our money, utilize African-American salespeople whether we are purchasing clothes, cars, appliances, homes, insurance, or whatever. Do not patronize restaurants or fast-food establishments that do not hire African-Americans--neighborhood, regional, or national chains.
A considerable portion of capital that African-American [small] business owners require to expand their products/services and create jobs can be derived via revenues generated by our consumerism—making those businesses more attractive to lending/investment institutions.
The people who own the entities where we currently spend our money enjoy the economic benefits of our patronage, i.e., create jobs for their people, ability to purchase whatever they require to live comfortably, have savings accounts, send their kids to the best schools, take vacations—all the things many of our people only dream about. We contribute handsomely to the economic upward mobility and sustainment of non-African Americans. The billions of dollars that we spend help create millions of jobs that our sons and daughters do not receive. Wake-up everybody!
We have to start making adjustments and sacrifices in every facet of our lives in order to improve the economic conditions of our people. In addition, our children mimic our economic behavior, and therefore we must change the manner in which we indoctrinate their economic behavior.
For example: Approximately 20 years ago, an Italian male Allstate insurance agent inherited my account from my African-American agent (Charles Henre' who left Allstate to join Aflac). Mr. Henre called to advise me accordingly and that he had been gone from Allstate for more than a year. He asked had I heard from his ex-partner from Allstate. Of course I had not. So I called Allstate (my home and car insurance provider) and shifted my account from the Italian agent to a female African-American Allstate agent by the name Cheryl Kirkland (now in South Holland, Illinois).
I shifted my account to her because my goal is and always will be to contribute to the economic upward mobility of my people; and Cheryl is providing jobs for African-Americans. This was a no-brainer economic decision. All of my friends and family did the same. We created a movement by successfully convincing many other African-Americans to shift there accounts to African-American agents with their insurance providers. These types of strategic economic shifts can make significant differences in the lives of millions of African-Americans who are struggling to make a living/stay in business and provide employment.
Many of us in Chicago use African-American lawn care contractors to give jobs to African-American men. It is imperative that we abandon advocating “black business/service providers are not reliable...it’s hard doing business with blacks…” Providing economic opportunities for our people should never “be hard.”
Most African-Americans around the nation use Hispanics for lawn care and home repairs—and none of them hire African-Americans. Yet far too many of us are okay with that while our sons and husbands lack jobs, and the basic requirements to sustain as a human-beings. Rather, millions of our fathers, sons, and husbands are forced into the life of vices because they lack jobs.
Daily—around the nation—our sons hopelessly drift/stand on street corners selling drugs/dodging bullets, robbing and killing us and our children—and we are burying them by the hundreds, monthly. This is maddening! Our children have an inherent right to be recipients of the wealth we generate [for others]in America. Personally, I am OUTRAGED about it. And I cannot wrap my senses around the fact that despite the fact that we spend trillions of dollars, we have hundreds-of-thousands of the most talented, intellectual, successful, audacious people in our race we simply refuse to unite to re-direct our economic strength to benefit our people. Around this very issue is where a paradigm shift must occur. We are socio-economically worse-off than any other race on earth.
Take a focused look at other races doing business in our communities, and you will recognize practiced economic indoctrinations in full play among whites, Hispanics, Koreans, Egyptians, Arabs, Indians, etc. and their refusal to hire our African-American sons and daughters. It’s happening every day throughout America—and we make it possible for them to succeed at it.
Next, take the time to visit any Hispanic community or other non-white ethnic communities, and I guarantee you will not find one African-American working in their neighborhood businesses—not one! This should be an “Aha!” moment for you, as well as a motivating factor to shift our money from them to/through us.
Again: Other races of people come from afar to open small businesses in our communities, positioning themselves to reap the receipts from our reckless-to-the-detriment-to-ourselves spending habits; and these people—99.9% of the time—do not hire from, shop or bank in our communities. Every dollar we spend with non-African-Americans leaves our communities—never to return. And what's even more disheartening than that is: We willing, with conditions take our money to them. We are the only race of people--ON EARTH-- that largely fail to indoctrinate our offspring with the concept of economically supporting our people first no matter what.
The third question is: When do we start?
The only logical answer is: Now! In order to achieve immediate and long-range economic success, we must not delay making an economic commitment to one another today. The economic paradigm shift must begin now.
Based on the economic strength of African-Americans and the combined trillons of dollars we spend, there should not be one African-American child lacking in the basics such as food, safe housing, and clothes; unemployed black men should be at a minimum; black children and young adults should be able to get jobs (summer and otherwise); black women and their families should be able to live comfortably, safely, and wherever we want to. But we are not in a position to do this, nor are we any where near being able to achieve this because despite the trillions of dollars we contribute to the wealthy living of other races of people, they do not extend the same economic considerations and opportunities to African-Americans—and neither do we.
Economics: The Institution of Racism
Among the sciences of economics and politics, which of the two sciences truly influence behavior (i.e., actions, conduct, deeds, activities, performance, manners)?
Do you know?
The answer is: Economics!
The science of economics is the primary behavior influence—no matter whose it is. Economic position or the lack there of influences what, when, where, how and how much a person, a people, a country, or any entity can do.
There are political scientists that argue the two sciences (economics and politics) are synonymous. They are not. Period!
Why do politicians spend hundreds of millions of dollars to be elected to [high] government offices?
Once again, it’s economics and the influence thereof. Politics is a paradigm by which economic factors are consigned.
What is the “driving” force of racism? Again, it’s economics.
We have spent immeasurable amounts of time being confused and upset about racism and race relations in America, not realizing there is a subtle difference between “race relations” and “racism.”
We (blacks, whites, Hispanics, Native Americans, Asians, and others) formed a coalition that elected America’s first African-American President). So improving “race relations” is no longer a “real pressing issue” for us. Mind you: It was "economic" hope that galvanized the multi-racial/multi-cultural/multi-gender coalition to elect President Obama.
Racism: We'll never be able to cure racism. It is outside of our collective "Circle of Influence," and always will be. So our time and energy would be best utilized focusing on our real "Circle of Influence," i.e., an economic paradigm shift and upward mobility.
The real issue before us now is “economics” and the development thereof—not just for African-Americans, but for America as a whole. But more importantly is whether or not we—as African-Americans—are willing to cease economic behavior that has contributed to, and in most instances, kept us at a status of “the economically disadvantaged.”
We will never be able to truly cure racism, race relations, or sustain political gains unless we effectively address/take control/address our overall economic condition(s). If we take the time to understand that economics is the foundation of racism, and racism is “driven” by others’ fear of our economic potential, we would in fact put greater emphasis on economics rather than race and politics—which would ultimately guarantee us a “place at the table--any table: Economic, Political, Social.”
Awakening of the “Sleeping Economic Giant”
We are a “Sleeping Economic Giant”--an economic transformation waiting to happen. Non-African-Americans recognize this fact far better than we do. They fear that if the “Sleeping Economic Giant” is ever awakened, and we implement a massively coordinated and indoctrinated paradigm shift our money away from "their" businesses, services to African-Americans entities and individuals, the economic impact [on them] would be nothing sort of cataclysmic. And we would witness a change in "their" behavior(s). A strategy of this magnitude would be a scary global economic proposition.
The irrefutable foundation of entrenched institutionalized, white male dominated racism is their fear of our economic potential. The greatest fear of non-African-American men is African-American men attaining and sustaining economic parity because the latter’s economic salvation would result in the others’ economic sacrifice. By-in-large, this is the motivation of covert and overt racism, which serves to especially and disproportionately exclude our fathers, sons, and husbands from employment opportunities and access to capital to start/expand/sustain businesses. The black man’s economic salvation is the white man’s economic sacrifice.
Financing Our Own Oppression
We literally finance our own oppression via how, where, and with whom we spend our money—most of which (trillions of dollars) is not spent with African-American owned businesses or through African-American professional service providers and salespeople. If we are to truly improve our economic position in a “land of prosperity,” we must change our economic behavior, i.e., how, where, and with and through whom we spend our money.
According to Target Market News, and published by Ebony Magazine (May, 2012), Black America’s Half-Trillion-Dollar Consumer Market, we spend the following dollar amounts in America on:
Category/Spent Annually (Billions)
Food: $65.2B
Apparel Products & Services $29.3B
Cars & Trucks (new and used) $29.1B
Insurance $21.3B
Telephone Services $18.6B
Household Furnishings and Equipment $16.5B
Personal Products and Services $7.4B
Housewares $1.1B
Gifts $9.6B
Computers $3.6B
Consumer Electronics $6.1B
Travel, Transportation and Lodging $6B
Education $7.5B
Healthcare $23.6 B;
Housing and Related Charges $203.8B;
Media $8.8B
Miscellaneous $8.3B
Contributions $17.3
September 19, 2013 Nielsen Update of African-Americans' spending habits; and according to "Resilient, Receptive, and Relevant: The African-American Consumer 2013 Report' forecast black buying power will rise to $1.3 trillion by 2017, finding 53 percent of the nation's 43 million blacks currently are under the age of 35, with the black population growing 40 percent faster than the general market population. The study also found that blacks watch more TV than the general population, 37 percent more; read more financial magazines, 28 percent more; and surpass the general population in smartphone ownership--71 percent verse 62 percent.
"It also found that blacks make eight more shopping trips per year than the general population; purchase nine times more ethnic beauty and grooming products; and spend more than twice the time at personal websites than any other group.
"According to the report, 81 percent of black consumers believe products advertised in black media are more relevant to them."
This validates the theory of African-Americans being a sleeping economic giant, and decisively predicates that African-Americans implement a paradigm shift in our economic behavior to uplift of people for generations to come. What is so excruciatingly hideous about where, with, and through whom we trillions of dollars is that 90+ percent of the hundreds of billions of dollars we spend is not spent with or through African-Americans.
Given the magnitude of our “buying power,” it seems logical for us to begin spending our money with and through African-Americans.
The Paradigm Shift:
Support African-American businesses, sales and professional service providers whenever possible. When purchasing big ticket items such as homes, cars, appliance/furnishings, etc. by-pass the non-African-American salesperson and seek out the African-American salesperson and contribute to that individual’s [family] economic upward mobility. This is not “rocket-science.” This is common-sense economic behavior in practice—just like all other races of people do. This is an example of shifting our economic behavior to expand/create businesses and jobs to improve our overall economic conditions.
It is imperative that we spread and indoctrinate this paradigm shift if we are to save our race and uplift "the black man"--our fathers, sons, and husbands.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
African-American Women's Economic Movement in USA
The Covenant:
A Paradigm Shift of Economic Behavior
Of African-American Women (Men and Children)
By Karen Sommerfield, Community/Political Activist
Chicago, IL karenks@sbcglobal.net
MISSION STATEMENT
The goal is to inspire African-American women to initiate a cohesive proactive strategy to improve the abysmal social and economic conditions that have virtually turned our communities into “killing fields.” The extreme and soaring level of poverty and despair, especially among our men and youth, demands our immediate action.
Our failure to effectively address the dangerous socio-economic issues/structures confronting us today guarantees a future for our children that will be far worse than our foremothers and forefathers ever experienced. In fact, we’re already there because our children are killing one another! How worse does it have to get before we act to help one another help our children? It cannot get any worse than our children killing us and one another.
Economic Summit of Minds
The first “question” is: Who must initiate key processes to effectively reconcile the spiraling/out-of-control economic and social devastation permeating the core of African-American’s societal existence?
The true answer: Us.
It is our responsibility to improve the ghastly social and staggering economic conditions among African-Americans, and there should be absolutely no vacillation in acknowledging our responsibility to do so. Starting right now we must collectively agree to be of “one-mind” with the same goal(s), and without further delay, develop/refine and implement “The Covenant.” Godspeed!
As women, we are definers of our destiny as demonstrated by our foremothers, and the finest among us—the economic and social engineers—who understand the complexities we face, and are quite capable of planning, implementing, and spearheading strategies to alleviate the saturating socio-economic degradation plaguing our communities must answer the “call” to step forward and take the lead in advocating and guiding our people on to a path of social tranquility and economic prosperity where our sons and daughters will and must become—in many areas—majority beneficiaries of our efforts and the billions of dollars that we contribute to America’s economy. It’s that simple.
It is our responsibility, as women, to rekindle the practices of our foremothers who courageously battled endless naysayers, oppressors, and degrading circumstances. Many of whom sacrificed their dignity and lives so that we—their descendants—could have opportunities to live far better lives than they ever imagined. We dropped the ball long time ago. But now we must pick it up and run with it so that our descendants will be granted the same opportunities provided to us through the struggles and victories of our foremothers. We must commit for the sake of our offspring, especially our sons—who desperately deserve unalienable rights to become responsible, self-reliant men who can and want to meet the challenges of supporting their families and raising their children. There should not ever be an instance where we are not willing to make that possible for them.
The Paradigm Shift of Economic Behavior
We must cease financing our economic oppression by largely changing how, where, and with/through whom we shop thereby transferring a great percentage of the “half-trillion-dollars+” we contribute to America’s economy to African-American owned businesses, [professional] service providers, and salespeople.
The second question is: How do we parlay our contributions to the economy to achieve meaningful and successful economic development, i.e., business and employment opportunities?
The only feasible answer right now is: Shifting our collective economic behavior in ways that will immediately contribute to the economic sustainment, expansion, and creation of African-American businesses, including immediately start utilizing [professional] service providers such as doctors, attorneys, accountants, tax preparers, investment advisers, insurance agents/brokers, salons, department store and car salesmen/women, lawn care/home repair contractors, etc. Only spend our money where African-Americans are employed--and when we spend our money, utilize African-American salespeople whether we are purchasing clothes, cars, appliances, homes, insurance, or whatever. Do not patronize restaurants or fast-food establishments that do not hire African-Americans--neighborhood, regional, or national chains.
A considerable portion of capital that African-American [small] business owners require to expand their products/services and create jobs can be derived via revenues generated by our consumerism—making those businesses more attractive to lending/investment institutions.
The people who own the entities where we currently spend our money enjoy the economic benefits of our patronage, i.e., create jobs for their people, ability to purchase whatever they require to live comfortably, have savings accounts, send their kids to the best schools, take vacations—all the things many of our people only dream about. We contribute handsomely to the economic upward mobility and sustainment of non-African Americans. The billions of dollars that we spend help create millions of jobs that our sons and daughters do not receive. Wake-up everybody!
We have to start making adjustments and sacrifices in every facet of our lives in order to improve the economic conditions of our people. In addition, our children mimic our economic behavior, and therefore we must change the manner in which we indoctrinate their economic behavior.
For example: Approximately 20 years ago, an Italian male Allstate insurance agent inherited my account from my African-American agent (Charles Henre who left Allstate to join Aflac). Mr. Henre called to advise me accordingly and that he had been gone from Allstate for more than a year. He asked had I heard from his ex-partner from Allstate. Of course I had not. So I called Allstate (my home and car insurance provider) and shifted my account from the Italian agent to a female African-American Allstate agent by the name Cheryl Kirkland (now in South Holland, Illinois). I shifted my account to her because my goal is and always will be to contribute to the economic upward mobility of my people; and Cheryl is providing jobs for African-Americans. This was a no-brainer economic decision. All of my friends and family did the same. We created a movement by successfully convincing many other African-Americans to shift there accounts to African-American agents with their insurance providers. These types of strategic economic shifts can make significant differences in the lives of millions of African-Americans who are struggling to make a living/stay in business and provide employment.
Many of us in Chicago use African-American lawn care contractors to give jobs to African-American men. It is imperative that we abandon advocating “black business/service providers are not reliable...it’s hard doing business with blacks…” Providing economic opportunities for our people should never “be hard.”
Most African-Americans around the nation use Hispanics for lawn care and home repairs—and none of them hire African-Americans. Yet far too many of us are okay with that while our sons and husbands lack jobs, and the basic requirements to sustain as human-beings. Rather, millions of our fathers, sons, and husbands are forced into the life of vices because they lack jobs.
Daily—around the nation—our sons hopelessly drift/stand on street corners selling drugs/dodging bullets, robbing and killing us and our children—and we are burying them by the hundreds, monthly. This is maddening! Our children have an inherent right to be recipients of the wealth we generate [for others] in America. Personally, I am OUTRAGED about it. And I cannot wrap my senses around the fact that despite the fact that we spend trillions of dollars, we have hundreds-of-thousands of the most talented, intellectual, successful, audacious people in our race we simply refuse to unite to re-direct our economic strength to benefit our people. Around this very issue is where a paradigm shift must occur. We are socio-economically worse-off than any other race on earth.
Take a focused look at other races doing business in our communities, and you will recognize practiced economic indoctrinations in full play among whites, Hispanics, Koreans, Egyptians, Arabs, Indians, etc. and their refusal to hire our African-American sons and daughters. It’s happening every day throughout America—and we make it possible for them to succeed at it.
Next, take the time to visit any Hispanic community or other non-white ethnic communities, and I guarantee you will not find one African-American working in their neighborhood businesses—not one! This should be an “Aha!” moment for you, as well as a motivating factor to shift our money from them to/through us.
Again: Other races of people come from afar to open small businesses in our communities, positioning themselves to reap the receipts from our reckless-to-the-detriment-to-ourselves spending habits; and these people—99.9% of the time—do not hire from, shop or bank in our communities. Every dollar we spend with non-African-Americans leaves our communities—never to return. And what's even more disheartening than that is: We willing, with conditions take our money to them. We are the only race of people--ON EARTH-- that largely fail to indoctrinate our offspring with the concept of economically supporting our people first no matter what.
The third question is: When do we start?
The only logical answer is: Now! In order to achieve immediate and long-range economic success, we must not delay making an economic commitment to one another today. The economic paradigm shift must begin now.
Based on the economic strength of African-Americans and the combined trillions of dollars we spend, there should not be one African-American child lacking in the basics such as food, safe housing, and clothes; unemployed black men should be at a minimum; black children and young adults should be able to get jobs (summer and otherwise); black women and their families should be able to live comfortably, safely, and wherever we want to. But we are not in a position to do this, nor are we any where near being able to achieve this because despite the trillions of dollars we contribute to the wealthy living of other races of people, they do not extend the same economic considerations and opportunities to African-Americans—and neither do we.
Economics: The Institution of Racism
Among the sciences of economics and politics, which of the two sciences truly influence behavior (i.e., actions, conduct, deeds, activities, performance, manners)?
Do you know?
The answer is: Economics!
The science of economics is the primary behavior influence—no matter whose it is. Economic position or the lack there of influences what, when, where, how and how much a person, a people, a country, or any entity can do.
There are political scientists that argue the two sciences (economics and politics) are synonymous. They are not. Period!
Why do politicians spend hundreds of millions of dollars to be elected to [high] government offices?
Once again, it’s economics and the influence thereof. Politics is a paradigm by which economic factors are consigned.
What is the “driving” force of racism? Again, it’s economics.
We have spent immeasurable amounts of time being confused and upset about racism and race relations in America, not realizing there is a subtle difference between “race relations” and “racism.”
We (blacks, whites, Hispanics, Native Americans, Asians, and others) formed a coalition that elected America’s first African-American President). So improving “race relations” is no longer a “real pressing issue” for us. Mind you: It was "economic" hope that galvanized the multi-racial/multi-cultural/multi-gender coalition to elect President Obama.
Racism: We'll never be able to cure racism. It is outside of our collective "Circle of Influence," and always will be. So our time and energy would be best utilized focusing on our real "Circle of Influence," i.e., an economic paradigm shift and upward mobility.
The real issue before us now is “economics” and the development thereof—not just for African-Americans, but for America as a whole. But more importantly is whether or not we—as African-Americans—are willing to cease economic behavior that has contributed to, and in most instances, kept us at a status of “the economically disadvantaged.”
We will never be able to truly cure racism, race relations, or sustain political gains unless we effectively address/take control/address our overall economic condition(s). If we take the time to understand that economics is the foundation of racism, and racism is “driven” by others’ fear of our economic potential, we would in fact put greater emphasis on economics rather than race and politics—which would ultimately guarantee us a “place at the table--any table: Economic, Political, Social.”
Awakening of the “Sleeping Economic Giant”
We are a “Sleeping Economic Giant”--an economic transformation waiting to happen. Non-African-Americans recognize this fact far better than we do. They fear that if the “Sleeping Economic Giant” is ever awakened, and we implement a massively coordinated and indoctrinated paradigm shift our money away from "their" businesses, services to African-Americans entities and individuals, the economic impact [on them] would be nothing sort of cataclysmic. And we would witness a change in "their" behavior(s). A strategy of this magnitude would be a scary global economic proposition.
The irrefutable foundation of entrenched institutionalized, white male dominated racism is their fear of our economic potential. The greatest fear of non-African-American men is African-American men attaining and sustaining economic parity because the latter’s economic salvation would result in the others’ economic sacrifice. By-in-large, this is the motivation of covert and overt racism, which serves to especially and disproportionately exclude our fathers, sons, and husbands from employment opportunities and access to capital to start/expand/sustain businesses. The black man’s economic salvation is the white man’s economic sacrifice.
Financing Our Own Oppression
We literally finance our own oppression via how, where, and with whom we spend our money—most of which (trillions of dollars) is not spent with African-American owned businesses or through African-American professional service providers and salespeople. If we are to truly improve our economic position in a “land of prosperity,” we must change our economic behavior, i.e., how, where, and with and through whom we spend our money.
According to Target Market News, and published by Ebony Magazine (May, 2012), Black America’s Half-Trillion-Dollar Consumer Market, we spend the following dollar amounts in America on:
Category/Spent Annually (Billions)
Food: $65.2B
Apparel Products Services $29.3B
Cars & Trucks (new and used) $29.1B
Insurance $21.3B
Telephone Services $18.6B
Household Furnishings and Equipment $16.5B
Personal Products and Services $7.4B
Housewares $1.1B
Gifts $9.6B
Computers $3.6B
Consumer Electronics $6.1B
Travel, Transportation and Lodging $6B
Education $7.5B
Healthcare $23.6 B;
Housing and Related Charges $203.8B;
Media $8.8B
Miscellaneous $8.3B
Contributions $17.3
September 19, 2013 Nielsen Update of African-Americans' spending habits; and according to "Resilient, Receptive, and Relevant: The African-American Consumer 2013 Report' forecast black buying power will rise to $1.3 trillion by 2017, finding 53 percent of the nation's 43 million blacks currently are under the age of 35, with the black population growing 40 percent faster than the general market population. The study also found that blacks watch more TV than the general population, 37 percent more; read more financial magazines, 28 percent more; and surpass the general population in smartphone ownership--71 percent verse 62 percent.
"It also found that blacks make eight more shopping trips per year than the general population; purchase nine times more ethnic beauty and grooming products; and spend more than twice the time at personal websites than any other group.
"According to the report, 81 percent of black consumers believe products advertised in black media are more relevant to them."
This validates the theory of African-Americans being a sleeping economic giant, and decisively predicates that African-Americans implement a paradigm shift in our economic behavior to uplift of people for generations to come. What is so excruciatingly hideous about where, with, and through whom we trillions of dollars is that 90+ percent of the hundreds of billions of dollars we spend is not spent with or through African-Americans.
Given the magnitude of our “buying power,” it seems logical for us to begin spending our money with and through African-Americans.
Implementation of the Paradigm Shift:
Support African-American businesses, sales and professional service providers whenever possible. When purchasing big ticket items such as homes, cars, appliance/furnishings, etc. by-pass the non-African-American salesperson and seek out the African-American salesperson and contribute to that individual’s [family] economic upward mobility. This is not “rocket-science.” This is common-sense economic behavior in practice—just like all other races of people do. This is an example of shifting our economic behavior to expand/create businesses and jobs to improve our overall economic conditions.
It is imperative that we spread and indoctrinate this paradigm shift if we are to save our race and uplift "the black man"--our fathers, sons, and husbands.
A Paradigm Shift of Economic Behavior
Of African-American Women (Men and Children)
By Karen Sommerfield, Community/Political Activist
Chicago, IL karenks@sbcglobal.net
MISSION STATEMENT
The goal is to inspire African-American women to initiate a cohesive proactive strategy to improve the abysmal social and economic conditions that have virtually turned our communities into “killing fields.” The extreme and soaring level of poverty and despair, especially among our men and youth, demands our immediate action.
Our failure to effectively address the dangerous socio-economic issues/structures confronting us today guarantees a future for our children that will be far worse than our foremothers and forefathers ever experienced. In fact, we’re already there because our children are killing one another! How worse does it have to get before we act to help one another help our children? It cannot get any worse than our children killing us and one another.
Economic Summit of Minds
The first “question” is: Who must initiate key processes to effectively reconcile the spiraling/out-of-control economic and social devastation permeating the core of African-American’s societal existence?
The true answer: Us.
It is our responsibility to improve the ghastly social and staggering economic conditions among African-Americans, and there should be absolutely no vacillation in acknowledging our responsibility to do so. Starting right now we must collectively agree to be of “one-mind” with the same goal(s), and without further delay, develop/refine and implement “The Covenant.” Godspeed!
As women, we are definers of our destiny as demonstrated by our foremothers, and the finest among us—the economic and social engineers—who understand the complexities we face, and are quite capable of planning, implementing, and spearheading strategies to alleviate the saturating socio-economic degradation plaguing our communities must answer the “call” to step forward and take the lead in advocating and guiding our people on to a path of social tranquility and economic prosperity where our sons and daughters will and must become—in many areas—majority beneficiaries of our efforts and the billions of dollars that we contribute to America’s economy. It’s that simple.
It is our responsibility, as women, to rekindle the practices of our foremothers who courageously battled endless naysayers, oppressors, and degrading circumstances. Many of whom sacrificed their dignity and lives so that we—their descendants—could have opportunities to live far better lives than they ever imagined. We dropped the ball long time ago. But now we must pick it up and run with it so that our descendants will be granted the same opportunities provided to us through the struggles and victories of our foremothers. We must commit for the sake of our offspring, especially our sons—who desperately deserve unalienable rights to become responsible, self-reliant men who can and want to meet the challenges of supporting their families and raising their children. There should not ever be an instance where we are not willing to make that possible for them.
The Paradigm Shift of Economic Behavior
We must cease financing our economic oppression by largely changing how, where, and with/through whom we shop thereby transferring a great percentage of the “half-trillion-dollars+” we contribute to America’s economy to African-American owned businesses, [professional] service providers, and salespeople.
The second question is: How do we parlay our contributions to the economy to achieve meaningful and successful economic development, i.e., business and employment opportunities?
The only feasible answer right now is: Shifting our collective economic behavior in ways that will immediately contribute to the economic sustainment, expansion, and creation of African-American businesses, including immediately start utilizing [professional] service providers such as doctors, attorneys, accountants, tax preparers, investment advisers, insurance agents/brokers, salons, department store and car salesmen/women, lawn care/home repair contractors, etc. Only spend our money where African-Americans are employed--and when we spend our money, utilize African-American salespeople whether we are purchasing clothes, cars, appliances, homes, insurance, or whatever. Do not patronize restaurants or fast-food establishments that do not hire African-Americans--neighborhood, regional, or national chains.
A considerable portion of capital that African-American [small] business owners require to expand their products/services and create jobs can be derived via revenues generated by our consumerism—making those businesses more attractive to lending/investment institutions.
The people who own the entities where we currently spend our money enjoy the economic benefits of our patronage, i.e., create jobs for their people, ability to purchase whatever they require to live comfortably, have savings accounts, send their kids to the best schools, take vacations—all the things many of our people only dream about. We contribute handsomely to the economic upward mobility and sustainment of non-African Americans. The billions of dollars that we spend help create millions of jobs that our sons and daughters do not receive. Wake-up everybody!
We have to start making adjustments and sacrifices in every facet of our lives in order to improve the economic conditions of our people. In addition, our children mimic our economic behavior, and therefore we must change the manner in which we indoctrinate their economic behavior.
For example: Approximately 20 years ago, an Italian male Allstate insurance agent inherited my account from my African-American agent (Charles Henre who left Allstate to join Aflac). Mr. Henre called to advise me accordingly and that he had been gone from Allstate for more than a year. He asked had I heard from his ex-partner from Allstate. Of course I had not. So I called Allstate (my home and car insurance provider) and shifted my account from the Italian agent to a female African-American Allstate agent by the name Cheryl Kirkland (now in South Holland, Illinois). I shifted my account to her because my goal is and always will be to contribute to the economic upward mobility of my people; and Cheryl is providing jobs for African-Americans. This was a no-brainer economic decision. All of my friends and family did the same. We created a movement by successfully convincing many other African-Americans to shift there accounts to African-American agents with their insurance providers. These types of strategic economic shifts can make significant differences in the lives of millions of African-Americans who are struggling to make a living/stay in business and provide employment.
Many of us in Chicago use African-American lawn care contractors to give jobs to African-American men. It is imperative that we abandon advocating “black business/service providers are not reliable...it’s hard doing business with blacks…” Providing economic opportunities for our people should never “be hard.”
Most African-Americans around the nation use Hispanics for lawn care and home repairs—and none of them hire African-Americans. Yet far too many of us are okay with that while our sons and husbands lack jobs, and the basic requirements to sustain as human-beings. Rather, millions of our fathers, sons, and husbands are forced into the life of vices because they lack jobs.
Daily—around the nation—our sons hopelessly drift/stand on street corners selling drugs/dodging bullets, robbing and killing us and our children—and we are burying them by the hundreds, monthly. This is maddening! Our children have an inherent right to be recipients of the wealth we generate [for others] in America. Personally, I am OUTRAGED about it. And I cannot wrap my senses around the fact that despite the fact that we spend trillions of dollars, we have hundreds-of-thousands of the most talented, intellectual, successful, audacious people in our race we simply refuse to unite to re-direct our economic strength to benefit our people. Around this very issue is where a paradigm shift must occur. We are socio-economically worse-off than any other race on earth.
Take a focused look at other races doing business in our communities, and you will recognize practiced economic indoctrinations in full play among whites, Hispanics, Koreans, Egyptians, Arabs, Indians, etc. and their refusal to hire our African-American sons and daughters. It’s happening every day throughout America—and we make it possible for them to succeed at it.
Next, take the time to visit any Hispanic community or other non-white ethnic communities, and I guarantee you will not find one African-American working in their neighborhood businesses—not one! This should be an “Aha!” moment for you, as well as a motivating factor to shift our money from them to/through us.
Again: Other races of people come from afar to open small businesses in our communities, positioning themselves to reap the receipts from our reckless-to-the-detriment-to-ourselves spending habits; and these people—99.9% of the time—do not hire from, shop or bank in our communities. Every dollar we spend with non-African-Americans leaves our communities—never to return. And what's even more disheartening than that is: We willing, with conditions take our money to them. We are the only race of people--ON EARTH-- that largely fail to indoctrinate our offspring with the concept of economically supporting our people first no matter what.
The third question is: When do we start?
The only logical answer is: Now! In order to achieve immediate and long-range economic success, we must not delay making an economic commitment to one another today. The economic paradigm shift must begin now.
Based on the economic strength of African-Americans and the combined trillions of dollars we spend, there should not be one African-American child lacking in the basics such as food, safe housing, and clothes; unemployed black men should be at a minimum; black children and young adults should be able to get jobs (summer and otherwise); black women and their families should be able to live comfortably, safely, and wherever we want to. But we are not in a position to do this, nor are we any where near being able to achieve this because despite the trillions of dollars we contribute to the wealthy living of other races of people, they do not extend the same economic considerations and opportunities to African-Americans—and neither do we.
Economics: The Institution of Racism
Among the sciences of economics and politics, which of the two sciences truly influence behavior (i.e., actions, conduct, deeds, activities, performance, manners)?
Do you know?
The answer is: Economics!
The science of economics is the primary behavior influence—no matter whose it is. Economic position or the lack there of influences what, when, where, how and how much a person, a people, a country, or any entity can do.
There are political scientists that argue the two sciences (economics and politics) are synonymous. They are not. Period!
Why do politicians spend hundreds of millions of dollars to be elected to [high] government offices?
Once again, it’s economics and the influence thereof. Politics is a paradigm by which economic factors are consigned.
What is the “driving” force of racism? Again, it’s economics.
We have spent immeasurable amounts of time being confused and upset about racism and race relations in America, not realizing there is a subtle difference between “race relations” and “racism.”
We (blacks, whites, Hispanics, Native Americans, Asians, and others) formed a coalition that elected America’s first African-American President). So improving “race relations” is no longer a “real pressing issue” for us. Mind you: It was "economic" hope that galvanized the multi-racial/multi-cultural/multi-gender coalition to elect President Obama.
Racism: We'll never be able to cure racism. It is outside of our collective "Circle of Influence," and always will be. So our time and energy would be best utilized focusing on our real "Circle of Influence," i.e., an economic paradigm shift and upward mobility.
The real issue before us now is “economics” and the development thereof—not just for African-Americans, but for America as a whole. But more importantly is whether or not we—as African-Americans—are willing to cease economic behavior that has contributed to, and in most instances, kept us at a status of “the economically disadvantaged.”
We will never be able to truly cure racism, race relations, or sustain political gains unless we effectively address/take control/address our overall economic condition(s). If we take the time to understand that economics is the foundation of racism, and racism is “driven” by others’ fear of our economic potential, we would in fact put greater emphasis on economics rather than race and politics—which would ultimately guarantee us a “place at the table--any table: Economic, Political, Social.”
Awakening of the “Sleeping Economic Giant”
We are a “Sleeping Economic Giant”--an economic transformation waiting to happen. Non-African-Americans recognize this fact far better than we do. They fear that if the “Sleeping Economic Giant” is ever awakened, and we implement a massively coordinated and indoctrinated paradigm shift our money away from "their" businesses, services to African-Americans entities and individuals, the economic impact [on them] would be nothing sort of cataclysmic. And we would witness a change in "their" behavior(s). A strategy of this magnitude would be a scary global economic proposition.
The irrefutable foundation of entrenched institutionalized, white male dominated racism is their fear of our economic potential. The greatest fear of non-African-American men is African-American men attaining and sustaining economic parity because the latter’s economic salvation would result in the others’ economic sacrifice. By-in-large, this is the motivation of covert and overt racism, which serves to especially and disproportionately exclude our fathers, sons, and husbands from employment opportunities and access to capital to start/expand/sustain businesses. The black man’s economic salvation is the white man’s economic sacrifice.
Financing Our Own Oppression
We literally finance our own oppression via how, where, and with whom we spend our money—most of which (trillions of dollars) is not spent with African-American owned businesses or through African-American professional service providers and salespeople. If we are to truly improve our economic position in a “land of prosperity,” we must change our economic behavior, i.e., how, where, and with and through whom we spend our money.
According to Target Market News, and published by Ebony Magazine (May, 2012), Black America’s Half-Trillion-Dollar Consumer Market, we spend the following dollar amounts in America on:
Category/Spent Annually (Billions)
Food: $65.2B
Apparel Products Services $29.3B
Cars & Trucks (new and used) $29.1B
Insurance $21.3B
Telephone Services $18.6B
Household Furnishings and Equipment $16.5B
Personal Products and Services $7.4B
Housewares $1.1B
Gifts $9.6B
Computers $3.6B
Consumer Electronics $6.1B
Travel, Transportation and Lodging $6B
Education $7.5B
Healthcare $23.6 B;
Housing and Related Charges $203.8B;
Media $8.8B
Miscellaneous $8.3B
Contributions $17.3
September 19, 2013 Nielsen Update of African-Americans' spending habits; and according to "Resilient, Receptive, and Relevant: The African-American Consumer 2013 Report' forecast black buying power will rise to $1.3 trillion by 2017, finding 53 percent of the nation's 43 million blacks currently are under the age of 35, with the black population growing 40 percent faster than the general market population. The study also found that blacks watch more TV than the general population, 37 percent more; read more financial magazines, 28 percent more; and surpass the general population in smartphone ownership--71 percent verse 62 percent.
"It also found that blacks make eight more shopping trips per year than the general population; purchase nine times more ethnic beauty and grooming products; and spend more than twice the time at personal websites than any other group.
"According to the report, 81 percent of black consumers believe products advertised in black media are more relevant to them."
This validates the theory of African-Americans being a sleeping economic giant, and decisively predicates that African-Americans implement a paradigm shift in our economic behavior to uplift of people for generations to come. What is so excruciatingly hideous about where, with, and through whom we trillions of dollars is that 90+ percent of the hundreds of billions of dollars we spend is not spent with or through African-Americans.
Given the magnitude of our “buying power,” it seems logical for us to begin spending our money with and through African-Americans.
Implementation of the Paradigm Shift:
Support African-American businesses, sales and professional service providers whenever possible. When purchasing big ticket items such as homes, cars, appliance/furnishings, etc. by-pass the non-African-American salesperson and seek out the African-American salesperson and contribute to that individual’s [family] economic upward mobility. This is not “rocket-science.” This is common-sense economic behavior in practice—just like all other races of people do. This is an example of shifting our economic behavior to expand/create businesses and jobs to improve our overall economic conditions.
It is imperative that we spread and indoctrinate this paradigm shift if we are to save our race and uplift "the black man"--our fathers, sons, and husbands.
Friday, August 23, 2013
From A Dog, I Learned Discipline, Humility & Love Renewed
That's right! I learned discipline and humility from a dog--a black labrador retriever.
During a time in my life, when I was questioning my faith and whether or not being a kind, loving, and generous person was the right way to be with people (because I was constantly being hurt by peoples' disregard for genuine caring and assistance), God sent a beautiful homeless 14-month old black Labrador Retriever to my front yard.
He came into my life immediately after I recognized that I had become resentful, mean-spirited, totally out-of-character, and loving the effectiveness of people backing-up off of me with their ungrateful, evil, and high-altitude attitudes. I started falling backwards into an abyss of sharp-tongued annihilation, even feeling hatred for certain people, places, and things. I began waiting on moments to swash-buckle my boss who was an arrogant demon--and I enjoyed every second of doing verbal battle with him. I would go as far as to invite him to terminate me. I sought-out the worst-of-the-worst to give them a taste of their own medicine--and it wasn't nice. Certain situations got so intense that I even called the police on myself. I had reached a point in my life of believing that everything about mankind and family was not good because no matter how kind and patient I was, I was constantly kicked in the heart and head, and otherwise mentally and emotionally beat-down. I gave up and started fighting back.
At the time the black labrador retriever came into my life, I had a 6-week old German Shepherd puppy, and early (6:00 a.m.) one morning, I was out in front of my house training him. He was a smart little puppy, but extremely independent. He constantly pranced, high-stepping and kicking like a show horse--he was definitely an alpha male puppy. I had my back to the street and my puppy was facing me. Suddenly he became distracted. Then I felt something bump me--ever so lightly--dead center of my butt. I slightly glanced over my left shoulder; saw something big and shiny black; and me and my puppy took off running. I ran for one solid block, never looking back, praying that whatever that was wasn't chasing us. Finally, I looked back and nothing was there.
I walked to a park near home, where we stayed for about an hour. When I returned home and as we approached, I saw a big black dog laying on my lawn near the front steps. My heart raced when he stood-up. I stopped. He paused just looking at me, swishing his tail from side-to-side; then it started moving in a circular motion. His ears went forward and he cocked his head to the left as if he was wondering why I was scared. I had just moved into my home and did not know any of my neighbors. I panicked not knowing what to do. After about a 30 to 40-minute stand-off, I got the nerve to knock on a neighbors door who called my husband for me and asked him to open the back door so I could get in the house out of range of the dog.
My husband opened the back gate, and as I (and my neighbor, Mr. Mayes) moved towards the gate, the black lab moved with us. Then he looked up and saw my husband and his tail went berserkly in 360-rotation--his whole back-end was wagging. We could tell he was happy, but my husband ran and slammed the gate closed. With my puppy tucked in my bra, me and Mr. Mayes climbed a van parked across the alley from my back gate. We were out-of-control laughing because the black lab was standing at the gate working his head inquisitively while whipping his tail waiting for my husband to open the gate.
My husband went to the front yard and called the dog--who dashed to the front yard--and I leaped from the van and ran into the back yard.
This dog stayed in front of my house all day. He would get up to chase people. My husband would go out front and call him back to get him to stop chasing people--walking, on bikes, or getting in and out of their cars. I called animal control all day. It was a hot August day and we knew the dog needed help, but he was so big and tall, we were afraid of him, especially after he started chasing people. Each time he chased somebody, he always returned to my front lawn and laid down--this went on all day. At one point, when my husband had to leave home, he waited until the dog chased somebody then he ran to his car.
By 5:00 p.m., I called the police because my husband had left home, and I didn't know what this dog would do. He had been lounging on the lawn and chasing people all day.
The police arrived and tried to lure him into a squad car. The dog started running back and forth from the police. He came back to my front yard every time. Then a policeman asked me to give him some water and food. I filled a quart-pot with water and gave the policeman a Subway turkey sandwich. The dog drank two quarts pot of water then gobbled down the sandwich. By now, about 5 squad cars had arrived and blocked off the streets in all directions because they thought he'd really start running after he got food and water. (Neighbors were everywhere.)
A few minutes later, my husband drove up. The dog ran straight-away to my husband; sat at attention at his feet for about 5 seconds; jumped him licking him to the ground. It was a Kodak moment.
A policewoman asked my husband to cokes him into getting into the squad car. My husband slid into the car and called to the dog. The dog cocked his head to the left, swirled around, and ran straight to me, and I ran straight into the arms of the closest policeman. The dog skidded to a halt. He was a thinking dog; very strategic.
A policeman stated to my husband: He's made his decision. You got yourself dog. Let's put in your yard. As soon as the policeman said that, the dog sat down close to me and the policeman who I was hiding behind, allowing the other officer to grab him by the flea collar he was wearing and lead him to my back yard.
Right away, I noticed that the dog was gorgeous. His coat was jet-black, swirled close-cropped hair. He was shiny--simply elegant. Very well-behaved; a very loving dog; and he was very patient and loving with my puppy--who was trying to bite his throat out as soon as he moved into the yard.
My yard was full of police and neighbors, and everybody wanted him. I informed everyone I would try to locate the owner. Everyone left.
Then, about 30 minutes later, policemen in all types of vehicles--marked/unmarked cars, uniform and plain clothes; paramedics in ambulances, and even a couple fire trucks showed up at the front-door and back yard. When we got outside, a female paramedic by the name of Collette was parked next to my six-foot fence standing atop her ambulance talking to the dog--and he was standing there listening to her. The policemen, paramedics, and firemen that were at the front door ran to the back yard--all of them shouting they wanted the dog if we didn't. It was a circus. There were so many law enforcement and first-responders at my house, Leroy Martin, Chicago's Superintendent of Police [at the time] who lived around the corner from me, showed up to see what was going on.
As I opened the back gate for everybody--approximtely 25-30 people, Collette jumped from atop the ambulance over the fence into the yard announcing she was in vetenarian school, asking if she could examine him.
The dog greeted her and every single person in the yard very lovingly. The dog was especially friendly with all the males--responding to any command given him by anybody. The dog was well-trained to voice and hand signals.
Collette commanded him to lay and roll-over onto his side. The dog complied. She gloved-up and began examining him: Mouth, teeth, paws, belly, skin, rectum, penis, ears, eyes, etc.--and the dog allowed all of it. After the 20-minute exam, Collette announced the dog was in excellent health, as well as sporting a pedicure. She cried while begging us for him. Several policemen offered to pay us to mate him with other pure labs. Others offered as much as $1,500.00 for the dog. We were overwhelmed with request.
Over the following 3 weeks, contacted a vetenarian clinics, and all reported after several days that all their owners of black labs had not lost their dog. And every day for 3 weeks, Collette visited the dog. She really wanted him. But also over that 3-week period, the dog grew on me. He was so well-behaved and had the patience of a saint with my puppy who was trying to kill him.
My new black lab walked around almost every minute of the day with a puppy hanging from his throat--twisting and turning until he got tired and dropped to the floor or ground. My puppy would bite him. Kick his food and water over. Attack! Attack! Attack! But my new dog never laid a tooth or paw on him. Rather, he would lick my puppy to calm him down or lick him until he fell asleep.
By the second week of having him, I recognized my new dog was an extremely humble and tolerant a dog. His loving ways constantly reduced me to tears. Then one night, I was looking at him and he was looking at me. I said to him: "You're my new baby. God sent you to me, didn't he?" He rose up onto my lap and placed him huge head on my chest, and started making a throaty sound as though he was answering me in the affirmative. I said to him: "Now I know why you wouldn't go with the police." Then he licked me like crazy.
By week-three, Collette asked again to take possession of him. But by now, my husband made it clear he was keeping the dog.
Over the next several weeks, I noticed the dog remained consistently loving and tolerant of my puppy. He was very disciplined, well-trained to a science--he understood everything. He even created his own job: Sniffing every inch of my car whenever I returned home. When he was done, he wanted to be paid with a treat. He waited for our elderly neighbor to arrive home from work around 11:00 p.m. (She worked at Walgreens.) He would announce her arrival and demanded that we let him out so that he could escort her to her door--every night! So that he could see her in her yard without obstruction, he tore-out the top half of a plank of wood dead-center of the fence so that he could see her and she could touch him--and nobody was permitted to be in her yard or touch her garbage can except her. He would snap on us if we entered her yard or touched her garbage can.
In fact, the dog tore out planks of wood from the fence in every direction so that he could see outside the yard. When my husband repaired the fence in each direction, the dog removed the new planks and put them on the patio. He acted more like a person than a dog.
I, without a doubt, knew God sent him to me to restore my faith, and to teach me discipline and humility. He renewed/restored my natural ability to love. He taught me many things over the course of 14.5 years he was with me. He lived far beyond the life-span of a Labrador Retriever, and he remained true to his nature: The epitome of love, discipline, humility, tolerance, and a fierce protector.
In previous postings, I've already shared how I used "love" to help change my mother's abusive ways; and how I used "love" to reach and teach troubled kids in my life. Now I going to share with you how I used "love" to capture the trust and eventual "love" of my current German Shepherd that I adopted from the Anti-Cruelty Society ("ACS").
In December, 2010 I was cruising the ACS website, shopping for a puppy as I was ready for another dog after my labrador and sheperd two died in 2007 and 2008, respectively. They were both 14.5 years old when they died.
While cruising looking at many different dogs, I came across a picture/profile of a 6-month old German Shepherd named "Camila." She was plastered in a corner of her kennel with an expression on her face that shouted: "Oh no! Please don't hurt me. I'm so scared." And the caption under her picture read: "This is Camila. She recently came to us as an abused animal. While she is sweet, she is shy and does not trust anyone. But we believe an ideal loving home would be great for her." Her eyes beckoned me.
It was a cold and snowy Friday evening, but that didn't stop me from going to get her.
When I arrived, she was still available. She was terrified of me; thin as a pencil; and her coat was dull and drier than a power house.
We started the paperwork immediately. When the associate asked me what her new name would be, we both said at the same time "Rendy"--that was amazing to us. She actually read my mind. We laughed and agreed on the name. But, I couldn't take her home until the following Monday because she had to be spaded.
I picked her up that following Monday. When I got her home. She instantly could smell the scent of my previous dogs, and her terror intensified. She was afraid of everything, including sounds.
My family looked at one another, then at me, but they didn't say anything to me about her. But I knew what they were thinking: "Why in the hell would you go get a dog like this?" We all laugh about it now, and they all confirmed that that is exactly what they were thinking when I brought her home, but did not want to hurt my feelings.
For months that followed, I constantly talked to her. I showered her with lots of love, rubbed and hugged her endlessly each time learned a new command. Finally, she began to trust us, especially me. Now, she's still a little skittish, but trusting. She's a great watchdog, and most importantly, she is a prissy, loving diva who demonstrates "love." She even offers to share a treats with anyone. She's another example of "Love can fix it."
If you ever wonder[ed] why your parent(s), your spouse, or a friend never tell you or show you that they love you, perhaps it is due to the fact that they never experienced/received love and affection themselves. A person cannot give that which they have not received.
If you are familiar with "love," share it. All of us need it.
Stay strong! Love long!
Love, Saishe! Holla-back!
During a time in my life, when I was questioning my faith and whether or not being a kind, loving, and generous person was the right way to be with people (because I was constantly being hurt by peoples' disregard for genuine caring and assistance), God sent a beautiful homeless 14-month old black Labrador Retriever to my front yard.
He came into my life immediately after I recognized that I had become resentful, mean-spirited, totally out-of-character, and loving the effectiveness of people backing-up off of me with their ungrateful, evil, and high-altitude attitudes. I started falling backwards into an abyss of sharp-tongued annihilation, even feeling hatred for certain people, places, and things. I began waiting on moments to swash-buckle my boss who was an arrogant demon--and I enjoyed every second of doing verbal battle with him. I would go as far as to invite him to terminate me. I sought-out the worst-of-the-worst to give them a taste of their own medicine--and it wasn't nice. Certain situations got so intense that I even called the police on myself. I had reached a point in my life of believing that everything about mankind and family was not good because no matter how kind and patient I was, I was constantly kicked in the heart and head, and otherwise mentally and emotionally beat-down. I gave up and started fighting back.
At the time the black labrador retriever came into my life, I had a 6-week old German Shepherd puppy, and early (6:00 a.m.) one morning, I was out in front of my house training him. He was a smart little puppy, but extremely independent. He constantly pranced, high-stepping and kicking like a show horse--he was definitely an alpha male puppy. I had my back to the street and my puppy was facing me. Suddenly he became distracted. Then I felt something bump me--ever so lightly--dead center of my butt. I slightly glanced over my left shoulder; saw something big and shiny black; and me and my puppy took off running. I ran for one solid block, never looking back, praying that whatever that was wasn't chasing us. Finally, I looked back and nothing was there.
I walked to a park near home, where we stayed for about an hour. When I returned home and as we approached, I saw a big black dog laying on my lawn near the front steps. My heart raced when he stood-up. I stopped. He paused just looking at me, swishing his tail from side-to-side; then it started moving in a circular motion. His ears went forward and he cocked his head to the left as if he was wondering why I was scared. I had just moved into my home and did not know any of my neighbors. I panicked not knowing what to do. After about a 30 to 40-minute stand-off, I got the nerve to knock on a neighbors door who called my husband for me and asked him to open the back door so I could get in the house out of range of the dog.
My husband opened the back gate, and as I (and my neighbor, Mr. Mayes) moved towards the gate, the black lab moved with us. Then he looked up and saw my husband and his tail went berserkly in 360-rotation--his whole back-end was wagging. We could tell he was happy, but my husband ran and slammed the gate closed. With my puppy tucked in my bra, me and Mr. Mayes climbed a van parked across the alley from my back gate. We were out-of-control laughing because the black lab was standing at the gate working his head inquisitively while whipping his tail waiting for my husband to open the gate.
My husband went to the front yard and called the dog--who dashed to the front yard--and I leaped from the van and ran into the back yard.
This dog stayed in front of my house all day. He would get up to chase people. My husband would go out front and call him back to get him to stop chasing people--walking, on bikes, or getting in and out of their cars. I called animal control all day. It was a hot August day and we knew the dog needed help, but he was so big and tall, we were afraid of him, especially after he started chasing people. Each time he chased somebody, he always returned to my front lawn and laid down--this went on all day. At one point, when my husband had to leave home, he waited until the dog chased somebody then he ran to his car.
By 5:00 p.m., I called the police because my husband had left home, and I didn't know what this dog would do. He had been lounging on the lawn and chasing people all day.
The police arrived and tried to lure him into a squad car. The dog started running back and forth from the police. He came back to my front yard every time. Then a policeman asked me to give him some water and food. I filled a quart-pot with water and gave the policeman a Subway turkey sandwich. The dog drank two quarts pot of water then gobbled down the sandwich. By now, about 5 squad cars had arrived and blocked off the streets in all directions because they thought he'd really start running after he got food and water. (Neighbors were everywhere.)
A few minutes later, my husband drove up. The dog ran straight-away to my husband; sat at attention at his feet for about 5 seconds; jumped him licking him to the ground. It was a Kodak moment.
A policewoman asked my husband to cokes him into getting into the squad car. My husband slid into the car and called to the dog. The dog cocked his head to the left, swirled around, and ran straight to me, and I ran straight into the arms of the closest policeman. The dog skidded to a halt. He was a thinking dog; very strategic.
A policeman stated to my husband: He's made his decision. You got yourself dog. Let's put in your yard. As soon as the policeman said that, the dog sat down close to me and the policeman who I was hiding behind, allowing the other officer to grab him by the flea collar he was wearing and lead him to my back yard.
Right away, I noticed that the dog was gorgeous. His coat was jet-black, swirled close-cropped hair. He was shiny--simply elegant. Very well-behaved; a very loving dog; and he was very patient and loving with my puppy--who was trying to bite his throat out as soon as he moved into the yard.
My yard was full of police and neighbors, and everybody wanted him. I informed everyone I would try to locate the owner. Everyone left.
Then, about 30 minutes later, policemen in all types of vehicles--marked/unmarked cars, uniform and plain clothes; paramedics in ambulances, and even a couple fire trucks showed up at the front-door and back yard. When we got outside, a female paramedic by the name of Collette was parked next to my six-foot fence standing atop her ambulance talking to the dog--and he was standing there listening to her. The policemen, paramedics, and firemen that were at the front door ran to the back yard--all of them shouting they wanted the dog if we didn't. It was a circus. There were so many law enforcement and first-responders at my house, Leroy Martin, Chicago's Superintendent of Police [at the time] who lived around the corner from me, showed up to see what was going on.
As I opened the back gate for everybody--approximtely 25-30 people, Collette jumped from atop the ambulance over the fence into the yard announcing she was in vetenarian school, asking if she could examine him.
The dog greeted her and every single person in the yard very lovingly. The dog was especially friendly with all the males--responding to any command given him by anybody. The dog was well-trained to voice and hand signals.
Collette commanded him to lay and roll-over onto his side. The dog complied. She gloved-up and began examining him: Mouth, teeth, paws, belly, skin, rectum, penis, ears, eyes, etc.--and the dog allowed all of it. After the 20-minute exam, Collette announced the dog was in excellent health, as well as sporting a pedicure. She cried while begging us for him. Several policemen offered to pay us to mate him with other pure labs. Others offered as much as $1,500.00 for the dog. We were overwhelmed with request.
Over the following 3 weeks, contacted a vetenarian clinics, and all reported after several days that all their owners of black labs had not lost their dog. And every day for 3 weeks, Collette visited the dog. She really wanted him. But also over that 3-week period, the dog grew on me. He was so well-behaved and had the patience of a saint with my puppy who was trying to kill him.
My new black lab walked around almost every minute of the day with a puppy hanging from his throat--twisting and turning until he got tired and dropped to the floor or ground. My puppy would bite him. Kick his food and water over. Attack! Attack! Attack! But my new dog never laid a tooth or paw on him. Rather, he would lick my puppy to calm him down or lick him until he fell asleep.
By the second week of having him, I recognized my new dog was an extremely humble and tolerant a dog. His loving ways constantly reduced me to tears. Then one night, I was looking at him and he was looking at me. I said to him: "You're my new baby. God sent you to me, didn't he?" He rose up onto my lap and placed him huge head on my chest, and started making a throaty sound as though he was answering me in the affirmative. I said to him: "Now I know why you wouldn't go with the police." Then he licked me like crazy.
By week-three, Collette asked again to take possession of him. But by now, my husband made it clear he was keeping the dog.
Over the next several weeks, I noticed the dog remained consistently loving and tolerant of my puppy. He was very disciplined, well-trained to a science--he understood everything. He even created his own job: Sniffing every inch of my car whenever I returned home. When he was done, he wanted to be paid with a treat. He waited for our elderly neighbor to arrive home from work around 11:00 p.m. (She worked at Walgreens.) He would announce her arrival and demanded that we let him out so that he could escort her to her door--every night! So that he could see her in her yard without obstruction, he tore-out the top half of a plank of wood dead-center of the fence so that he could see her and she could touch him--and nobody was permitted to be in her yard or touch her garbage can except her. He would snap on us if we entered her yard or touched her garbage can.
In fact, the dog tore out planks of wood from the fence in every direction so that he could see outside the yard. When my husband repaired the fence in each direction, the dog removed the new planks and put them on the patio. He acted more like a person than a dog.
I, without a doubt, knew God sent him to me to restore my faith, and to teach me discipline and humility. He renewed/restored my natural ability to love. He taught me many things over the course of 14.5 years he was with me. He lived far beyond the life-span of a Labrador Retriever, and he remained true to his nature: The epitome of love, discipline, humility, tolerance, and a fierce protector.
In previous postings, I've already shared how I used "love" to help change my mother's abusive ways; and how I used "love" to reach and teach troubled kids in my life. Now I going to share with you how I used "love" to capture the trust and eventual "love" of my current German Shepherd that I adopted from the Anti-Cruelty Society ("ACS").
In December, 2010 I was cruising the ACS website, shopping for a puppy as I was ready for another dog after my labrador and sheperd two died in 2007 and 2008, respectively. They were both 14.5 years old when they died.
While cruising looking at many different dogs, I came across a picture/profile of a 6-month old German Shepherd named "Camila." She was plastered in a corner of her kennel with an expression on her face that shouted: "Oh no! Please don't hurt me. I'm so scared." And the caption under her picture read: "This is Camila. She recently came to us as an abused animal. While she is sweet, she is shy and does not trust anyone. But we believe an ideal loving home would be great for her." Her eyes beckoned me.
It was a cold and snowy Friday evening, but that didn't stop me from going to get her.
When I arrived, she was still available. She was terrified of me; thin as a pencil; and her coat was dull and drier than a power house.
We started the paperwork immediately. When the associate asked me what her new name would be, we both said at the same time "Rendy"--that was amazing to us. She actually read my mind. We laughed and agreed on the name. But, I couldn't take her home until the following Monday because she had to be spaded.
I picked her up that following Monday. When I got her home. She instantly could smell the scent of my previous dogs, and her terror intensified. She was afraid of everything, including sounds.
My family looked at one another, then at me, but they didn't say anything to me about her. But I knew what they were thinking: "Why in the hell would you go get a dog like this?" We all laugh about it now, and they all confirmed that that is exactly what they were thinking when I brought her home, but did not want to hurt my feelings.
For months that followed, I constantly talked to her. I showered her with lots of love, rubbed and hugged her endlessly each time learned a new command. Finally, she began to trust us, especially me. Now, she's still a little skittish, but trusting. She's a great watchdog, and most importantly, she is a prissy, loving diva who demonstrates "love." She even offers to share a treats with anyone. She's another example of "Love can fix it."
If you ever wonder[ed] why your parent(s), your spouse, or a friend never tell you or show you that they love you, perhaps it is due to the fact that they never experienced/received love and affection themselves. A person cannot give that which they have not received.
If you are familiar with "love," share it. All of us need it.
Stay strong! Love long!
Love, Saishe! Holla-back!
If You're the Wiser: The Burden Rest With You To Do Right
When you're the wiser, the burden rest with you to do the right thing. This is what my father constantly preached. Adeptly, what he meant was: No matter how wrong the other person/entity is during heated moments or moments during which rationale discourse isn't attainable, and you know better as to how the situation should be handled, or you have sufficient facts that could possibly quell [the emotionally-charged] situation, it is your responsibility to take-low, stand-down, be patient, and tolerant enough to add a positive spin to achieve peace and harmony. Even when your feelings have been clobbered the burden rest with you to do/say the right thing or whatever is required to fix a situation. (I know: It's tough until you get the hang of it. I use to always say damn before I ventured to do or say what was right for the moment. Now that I have perfected getting my ass kicked without reacting, I no longer have a need to say damn beforehand. I'm now like Nike: I just do it! Naturally!)
During my hot-headed youth, such wisdom did not rest well with me because my natural reaction was to challenge evil, be blunt about it, psychologically destroy the enemy, and otherwise have zero tolerance for ignorance (one not knowing what's expected of them to know). Boy, oh boy! Back then, I just could not understand the extent and weightiness of my father's wisdom. I deemed him to be a punk about certain situation. But of course I was immature and wrong about most things.
My father, on numerous occasions, conveyed to us--even had us to write essays over-and-over again about the following advise until we grasped the essence of what he was telling us.
He would say: "The only thing you will ever truly own is your integrity. The only thing you will ever be able to completely control is your mouth. And there are no words that should ever entice or invite your temper to rear its ugly self to argue or fight. The sole issue for which you should engage an uprising for is your integrity because it is all you will ever own, and it is structured by how you live your life. Act good; do good; and praise good. Your integrity is your legacy and it is the only thing you must protect besides your physical-self. I first encourgage you to walk away/run if necessary--if you can--in defense of your physical-self; and provide proof in defense of your integrity--nothing more is required; nothing less is to be accepted.
"If you fail to control what comes out of your mouth, or your attempts to control others and situations can make you a ghost. Words create wars. Words anger and destroy. Words are dangerous because they maim the heart, mind, and spirit; and once they're unleashed you can never retrieve or erase them. Trying to control someone or something is stressful harmfully so and can cause strokes, heart-attacks, or provoke unintended consequences that could prove to be deadly. Either way: Not controlling your mouth or trying to control someone/something that you absolutely cannot and do not control can turn you into a ghost--in an instant."
Now that I am older and wiser, my father's wisdom--to this day/to this very second--humbes me. I carry his countless words of wisdom like a badge of honor, and often refer/utilize them in my everyday life experiences. Reaching back and latching on to his wisdom gives me peace, strength, and courage to keep it moving, while ignoring and dodging the scorns of life.
Decades ago, I abandoned my attack method of communicating or dealing with the evil, not-so-wise, or menacing individuals and situations. Rather, I now employ a tactic that my father use to frequently joke about--and made us laugh heartedly every time he said it. He would say: "When they come after you, for aero-dynamic affect, lower your neck, tuck your head between your shoulder blades and run like hell ducking and weaving in a serpentine fashion, and keep running and never look back because looking back kills the aero-dynamics of your get-away by slowing you down." Now, I do exactly that--figuratively.
In retrospect, me and my siblings could not stand it whenever our father cornered us to lecture us about conduct and life, especially when he showed up with pencils and paper. If we demonstrated any semblance of boredom or intolerance, he reached down and smacked us without ever skipping a syllable in his unyielding commentary. He would go on for hours--honestly! Hours!. Whenever our friends showed up, they were held captive and made to listen and participate. They quickly learned my father's body language and tone to know when one of his life-lessons was about to begin, and they made all kinds of excuses to leave--each one invoking what their mother said they had to do. But over the many decades since my childhood, many of our friends recalled the wisdom my father forced upon them, and how it helps them navigate life's sometimes rugged terrain.
I encourage you to impart my father's shared wisdom on your children, family, friends, and perhaps yourself. It works! Take it from a former hot-head who believed I had to verbally and psychologically fight for the world.
Saishe!
During my hot-headed youth, such wisdom did not rest well with me because my natural reaction was to challenge evil, be blunt about it, psychologically destroy the enemy, and otherwise have zero tolerance for ignorance (one not knowing what's expected of them to know). Boy, oh boy! Back then, I just could not understand the extent and weightiness of my father's wisdom. I deemed him to be a punk about certain situation. But of course I was immature and wrong about most things.
My father, on numerous occasions, conveyed to us--even had us to write essays over-and-over again about the following advise until we grasped the essence of what he was telling us.
He would say: "The only thing you will ever truly own is your integrity. The only thing you will ever be able to completely control is your mouth. And there are no words that should ever entice or invite your temper to rear its ugly self to argue or fight. The sole issue for which you should engage an uprising for is your integrity because it is all you will ever own, and it is structured by how you live your life. Act good; do good; and praise good. Your integrity is your legacy and it is the only thing you must protect besides your physical-self. I first encourgage you to walk away/run if necessary--if you can--in defense of your physical-self; and provide proof in defense of your integrity--nothing more is required; nothing less is to be accepted.
"If you fail to control what comes out of your mouth, or your attempts to control others and situations can make you a ghost. Words create wars. Words anger and destroy. Words are dangerous because they maim the heart, mind, and spirit; and once they're unleashed you can never retrieve or erase them. Trying to control someone or something is stressful harmfully so and can cause strokes, heart-attacks, or provoke unintended consequences that could prove to be deadly. Either way: Not controlling your mouth or trying to control someone/something that you absolutely cannot and do not control can turn you into a ghost--in an instant."
Now that I am older and wiser, my father's wisdom--to this day/to this very second--humbes me. I carry his countless words of wisdom like a badge of honor, and often refer/utilize them in my everyday life experiences. Reaching back and latching on to his wisdom gives me peace, strength, and courage to keep it moving, while ignoring and dodging the scorns of life.
Decades ago, I abandoned my attack method of communicating or dealing with the evil, not-so-wise, or menacing individuals and situations. Rather, I now employ a tactic that my father use to frequently joke about--and made us laugh heartedly every time he said it. He would say: "When they come after you, for aero-dynamic affect, lower your neck, tuck your head between your shoulder blades and run like hell ducking and weaving in a serpentine fashion, and keep running and never look back because looking back kills the aero-dynamics of your get-away by slowing you down." Now, I do exactly that--figuratively.
In retrospect, me and my siblings could not stand it whenever our father cornered us to lecture us about conduct and life, especially when he showed up with pencils and paper. If we demonstrated any semblance of boredom or intolerance, he reached down and smacked us without ever skipping a syllable in his unyielding commentary. He would go on for hours--honestly! Hours!. Whenever our friends showed up, they were held captive and made to listen and participate. They quickly learned my father's body language and tone to know when one of his life-lessons was about to begin, and they made all kinds of excuses to leave--each one invoking what their mother said they had to do. But over the many decades since my childhood, many of our friends recalled the wisdom my father forced upon them, and how it helps them navigate life's sometimes rugged terrain.
I encourage you to impart my father's shared wisdom on your children, family, friends, and perhaps yourself. It works! Take it from a former hot-head who believed I had to verbally and psychologically fight for the world.
Saishe!
Sunday, August 11, 2013
The Arrogant Prey on the Humble
Over the course of my life, I've been a "watcher" of interactions among human-beings. And based on my observations and experience it is innate of humans to demonstate a profound disrespect for humility.
My foremothers were all practitioners of "do unto others as you will have them do unto you (treat others like you want to be treated)." We were taught to never be arrogant because being arrogant in itself is disdainful and incendiary.
In observing human behavior from the sidelines of life, I noticed that in many instances that no matter how kind a person is to, considerate of, and/or patient with a scornfully arrogant (egotistical, conceited, haughty, superior, self-important, condescending, supercilious, disdainful, belittling, demeaning, egocentric, insensitive, careless of the feelings of others, inconsiderate, self-aggrandizing) individual, the arrogant individual presents as wholly intolerant and derisive of the good-natured person. I was pepetually baffled by such behavior until I began observing animals (the "law of the jungle").
Among animals, I noticed that if a humble, fearful, sick, old, weak, or injured animal failed to defend itself, its honor or position, it was disrespected, abused, or inevitably eradicated. And this is very much true as to how an arrogant individual behaves.
To the arrogant individual you are "weak" if you are humble and respectful. And is there better prey than the "humble?" No! There is none. A humble is a "feast" for the arrogant.
There is absolutely no reasoning with an arrogant individual. At all times, they must have someone to victimize in order to feed their narcissism. They are never wrong about anything. Rather, it is you who "made the mistake(s)...misunderstood what was said/failed to listen...cannot do/get it right...causes [all] the arguments...caused them to hurt/disrespect you, etc." And if you attempt to refute them in any manner or defend yourself against their scornful and incendiary accusations and remarks, they will make it an occupation to hurt and destroy you in a public manner--the more witnesses, the better. Believe me. I know. I've been a fight-back-at-any-cost victim of an arrogant individual.
The arrogant individual will hate you for having the wisdom and courage to tell them about their disparagement of you and/or others, or when they are wrong about something because to them they inherently do not make mistakes. They will repeatedly bring-up everything they ever thought you did stupid, wrong, or otherwise, and will never admit to the errors of their ways--or any character flaws they have. They honestly believe hurting you is helping "you see yourself for who you really are." They pretend there is nothing good about you, and will give you point-and-case, even going as far as to make-up situations/instances. And for Godsakes, to be in the crosshairs of an arrogant individual who is a pathological liar is an experience that is diabolical and life-changing in a not-go-good kind of way.
The arrogant individual is [sociopathic] cold, insensitive, and incapable of showing feelings towards others, but demand that you be sensitive to their demands while being humble and showing them that you revere them. No matter how often they are cruel to you, they expect you to endure it without rebelling or so much as "talking back to them;" and if you say anything in your defense, they accuse you of being confrontational and uncooperative.
They are experts a "flipping the script," i.e., after they, without provocation cause a scene, start a verbal or physical fight, or are heart-stopping insulting, they will try to convince you that you are the perpatrator, you caused the situation to happen when in reality, you said nothing or did nothing--you were just simply there as an unwilling victim of what occurred.
The arrogant individual will badger you with excruciating verbal abuse until they make you cry, run away, or [want to] physically attack. They "grandstand" and get an ardenaline-rush from verbally and emotionally vilifying their victim(s). And they never apologize for the horrid things they do and say--and you better not ever bring them up in the future. And they never remember any of the disgusting and unforgivable things they do and say--yet they remember every detail that ever made-up about you.
Please note that the possibility of the arrogant individual changing his/her demeaning ways is slim-to-none. However, over the course of my life, I've witnessed near-death experiences humble the arrogant and strengten the weak.
Just sharing!
Love, Saishe!
My foremothers were all practitioners of "do unto others as you will have them do unto you (treat others like you want to be treated)." We were taught to never be arrogant because being arrogant in itself is disdainful and incendiary.
In observing human behavior from the sidelines of life, I noticed that in many instances that no matter how kind a person is to, considerate of, and/or patient with a scornfully arrogant (egotistical, conceited, haughty, superior, self-important, condescending, supercilious, disdainful, belittling, demeaning, egocentric, insensitive, careless of the feelings of others, inconsiderate, self-aggrandizing) individual, the arrogant individual presents as wholly intolerant and derisive of the good-natured person. I was pepetually baffled by such behavior until I began observing animals (the "law of the jungle").
Among animals, I noticed that if a humble, fearful, sick, old, weak, or injured animal failed to defend itself, its honor or position, it was disrespected, abused, or inevitably eradicated. And this is very much true as to how an arrogant individual behaves.
To the arrogant individual you are "weak" if you are humble and respectful. And is there better prey than the "humble?" No! There is none. A humble is a "feast" for the arrogant.
There is absolutely no reasoning with an arrogant individual. At all times, they must have someone to victimize in order to feed their narcissism. They are never wrong about anything. Rather, it is you who "made the mistake(s)...misunderstood what was said/failed to listen...cannot do/get it right...causes [all] the arguments...caused them to hurt/disrespect you, etc." And if you attempt to refute them in any manner or defend yourself against their scornful and incendiary accusations and remarks, they will make it an occupation to hurt and destroy you in a public manner--the more witnesses, the better. Believe me. I know. I've been a fight-back-at-any-cost victim of an arrogant individual.
The arrogant individual will hate you for having the wisdom and courage to tell them about their disparagement of you and/or others, or when they are wrong about something because to them they inherently do not make mistakes. They will repeatedly bring-up everything they ever thought you did stupid, wrong, or otherwise, and will never admit to the errors of their ways--or any character flaws they have. They honestly believe hurting you is helping "you see yourself for who you really are." They pretend there is nothing good about you, and will give you point-and-case, even going as far as to make-up situations/instances. And for Godsakes, to be in the crosshairs of an arrogant individual who is a pathological liar is an experience that is diabolical and life-changing in a not-go-good kind of way.
The arrogant individual is [sociopathic] cold, insensitive, and incapable of showing feelings towards others, but demand that you be sensitive to their demands while being humble and showing them that you revere them. No matter how often they are cruel to you, they expect you to endure it without rebelling or so much as "talking back to them;" and if you say anything in your defense, they accuse you of being confrontational and uncooperative.
They are experts a "flipping the script," i.e., after they, without provocation cause a scene, start a verbal or physical fight, or are heart-stopping insulting, they will try to convince you that you are the perpatrator, you caused the situation to happen when in reality, you said nothing or did nothing--you were just simply there as an unwilling victim of what occurred.
The arrogant individual will badger you with excruciating verbal abuse until they make you cry, run away, or [want to] physically attack. They "grandstand" and get an ardenaline-rush from verbally and emotionally vilifying their victim(s). And they never apologize for the horrid things they do and say--and you better not ever bring them up in the future. And they never remember any of the disgusting and unforgivable things they do and say--yet they remember every detail that ever made-up about you.
Please note that the possibility of the arrogant individual changing his/her demeaning ways is slim-to-none. However, over the course of my life, I've witnessed near-death experiences humble the arrogant and strengten the weak.
Just sharing!
Love, Saishe!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
A Girl Abused: A Woman Lost Forever
Let me tell you a story about a girl I know.
As a young girl, she was very smart— a “STRAIGHT-A” student; very pretty and very out going.
In the beginning, she did everything her mother asked her to do—never waivered. Unfortunately, she looked just like her father [whom the mother hated with a passion], in concert, the girl possessed all of his traits—the good and the bad.
She was a person anchored in emotion, looking for someone who truly loved her—looking for the love she believed she should receive from the woman who birthed her. This girl started lying about little, insignificant things. She lied to her mother because first and foremost, she feared her mother because her mother constantly called her horrible names and would beat her violently for the slightest infraction or for no reason at all, or simply because she was angry about something or at someone else.
When the girl got to the age of 12 or so, the berating and emotional damage that had been heaped upon her had solidified, manifested, and infused her heart, mind, and soul; and therefore, she begin to lie [more and more] thinking lies would save her from being berated and abused, not knowing that her mother was far more experienced at life, and naturally knew when she was being lied to.
The girl began to feel hopeless. Her grades began to suffer. Like never before, she started staying away from home; attempted to run away; sought refuge and comfort among people she thought cared more about her.
Later in her life—say her late teen/early twenty-something years—she started drinking heavily, trying to drown-out the emotional pain caused by the abusive language and physical assaults about the head, face, and body—not understanding that her lies, in most cases, contributed to the hard-core abuse inflicted upon her.
The only aspect of life she clung to was the abuse itself—IT WAS UNIMAGINABLE TO HER THAT HER MOTHER COULD HURT HER SO READILY AND DEEPLY WITHOUT CONSICIOUS. At times, the abuse would be so horrific that her sisters would intercede to get their mother off of her and switch the beating from her to them—they would take beatings for their emotionally/physically abused sister because they understood that their mother had zero tolerance for her daughter’s lies and was enraged by blind anger because of her own abusive up-bringing. The girl’s mother did not know how to guide her daughter towards the truth, nor could she see the permanent damage she had done to this girl long before the girl started telling lies.
After getting married and leaving home at an early age, and having children, the girl started doing drugs, drinking more, constantly running from one affair to another looking for the emotional support/love she so desperately craved. She became the same type of abuser as her mother, i.e., she verbally abused her children whenever she became angry at them or anybody else. She beat and berated them, all the while lost within herself because she had been stripped of her self-esteem decades prior. She had been subjected to such profound verbal and physical humiliation that she eventually suffered a mental breakdown, enhanced by the use of drugs and alcohol. Her whole understanding of life had been scarred by a mother who was doing her best to provide, but was otherwise destructively abusive.
To this date, that girl [woman] is a mentally scarred mess caused mostly by verbal assaults, accented by physical abuse from the one person she thought could/should never do that to her. That girl is my sister.
As a young girl, she was very smart— a “STRAIGHT-A” student; very pretty and very out going.
In the beginning, she did everything her mother asked her to do—never waivered. Unfortunately, she looked just like her father [whom the mother hated with a passion], in concert, the girl possessed all of his traits—the good and the bad.
She was a person anchored in emotion, looking for someone who truly loved her—looking for the love she believed she should receive from the woman who birthed her. This girl started lying about little, insignificant things. She lied to her mother because first and foremost, she feared her mother because her mother constantly called her horrible names and would beat her violently for the slightest infraction or for no reason at all, or simply because she was angry about something or at someone else.
When the girl got to the age of 12 or so, the berating and emotional damage that had been heaped upon her had solidified, manifested, and infused her heart, mind, and soul; and therefore, she begin to lie [more and more] thinking lies would save her from being berated and abused, not knowing that her mother was far more experienced at life, and naturally knew when she was being lied to.
The girl began to feel hopeless. Her grades began to suffer. Like never before, she started staying away from home; attempted to run away; sought refuge and comfort among people she thought cared more about her.
Later in her life—say her late teen/early twenty-something years—she started drinking heavily, trying to drown-out the emotional pain caused by the abusive language and physical assaults about the head, face, and body—not understanding that her lies, in most cases, contributed to the hard-core abuse inflicted upon her.
The only aspect of life she clung to was the abuse itself—IT WAS UNIMAGINABLE TO HER THAT HER MOTHER COULD HURT HER SO READILY AND DEEPLY WITHOUT CONSICIOUS. At times, the abuse would be so horrific that her sisters would intercede to get their mother off of her and switch the beating from her to them—they would take beatings for their emotionally/physically abused sister because they understood that their mother had zero tolerance for her daughter’s lies and was enraged by blind anger because of her own abusive up-bringing. The girl’s mother did not know how to guide her daughter towards the truth, nor could she see the permanent damage she had done to this girl long before the girl started telling lies.
After getting married and leaving home at an early age, and having children, the girl started doing drugs, drinking more, constantly running from one affair to another looking for the emotional support/love she so desperately craved. She became the same type of abuser as her mother, i.e., she verbally abused her children whenever she became angry at them or anybody else. She beat and berated them, all the while lost within herself because she had been stripped of her self-esteem decades prior. She had been subjected to such profound verbal and physical humiliation that she eventually suffered a mental breakdown, enhanced by the use of drugs and alcohol. Her whole understanding of life had been scarred by a mother who was doing her best to provide, but was otherwise destructively abusive.
To this date, that girl [woman] is a mentally scarred mess caused mostly by verbal assaults, accented by physical abuse from the one person she thought could/should never do that to her. That girl is my sister.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Chicago Sun-Times Reporter Mary Mitchell Should Be Ashamed Re: President Obama
The day after President Obama was re-elected to office (11/07/2012) I read an article written by Chicago Sun-Times newspaper reporter Mary Mitchell and the caption read: “Will Obama do more for African Americans?” I started not to read it because I knew it would be a complaint about our dreadful conditions, and a query as to what [he] is going to do about it. But I read it any way.
Mary went to say in her article “…Yet in urban areas, too many children are still getting killed. Too many fathers are still trying to make a living selling drugs on the corner. Too many mothers still worry more about their kids walking down the street safely than about eating fresh vegetables. Frankly, black people have paid a hefty price for their loyalty…Now I hope he (Obama) will do more for the group that helped him get elected in the first place.”
I was embarrassed for Mary because she knows better, and she failed to mention exactly what it is President Obama should or could do for us. Not once did Mary, in her reprimand of President Obama, place responsibility on black people—where it rightfully belong—for what is going on in our communities (children getting killed; fathers selling drugs on street corners—everyday; mothers worrying about their kids walking safely down the streets that we live on).
Rather, Mary perpetuated the same ridiculous ideology that most black people invoke: “The government, the police, and the President aren’t doing enough to help black people to stop the killing in our communities and provide jobs and fresh vegetables…blah, blah, blah.”
I have yet to witness Mary putting forth any effort to help solve the problems she mentioned [above] in her article other than reporting on it.
Several years ago, because Mary is a high-profile and respected reporter in Chicago, I personally appealed to her to help bring women together to address the problems in our community and I have yet to hear from her.
As a reporter, Mary—to my knowledge—has not attempted to engage in dialogue with gang members in an effort to glean insight as to what is fueling the carnage in our communities, or how to solve it. Rather, [white] reporters Walter Jacobson of CBS [News] and [ABC national news anchor] Diane Sawyer came into our community to engage in dialogue with actual gangbangers to pin-point the anatomy of their murderous behavior. It should have been Mary [and us].
Mary failed to mention that we—black people—aren’t doing anything collectively to improve our dreadful social and economic conditions. I want to know what is it that Mary Mitchell and black people expect President Obama to do for us that we refuse to do for ourselves.
Keep in mind that African-Americans—just like everyone else—live in a land of prosperity, i.e., America, a capitalistic society where free enterprise is accessible to everyone with no restrictions on getting an education or starting a business.
African-Americans refuse to come together to collectively develop a plan to combine our resources and spending strength to support, expand, and create black enterprises. Neither President Obama, nor any form of government should be expected to bear sole responsibility for improving our local-level economic disparities and social atrocities.
What responsibility should we bear?
I cannot resist reminding [Mary Mitchell and] black people of just a few government financial entitlements (help from government) that black people—like every other race—already receive and have been receiving every month, every year for decades that are meant to be and should be used by [black] people to help improve their quality of life:
Section 8 Housing:
This federally-funded entitlement program pays all or a substantial portion of rent for no-to-low-income [black] people monthly/annually.
Example: A high-end monthly rent subsidy for a single mother with 3 or more children for up to $1,500 for a decent 3-4 bedroom apartment amounts to $18,000 annually; and many black people (mothers) have been receiving Section 8 government-financed housing for decades. $18,000 annually multiplied by 10 years is $180,000—then multiply that by 2 decades ($360,000). Now multiple this figure by millions of black people.
Link Program:
This federally-funded entitlement program titled “Link” gives hundreds of dollars in [cash and] food stamps to millions of no-to-low-income [black] people monthly.
Disgrace:
There are millions of mothers (and fathers) that do not use their Link food stamps to buy food for their kids. The kids go hungry while their mothers’ sell the Link provision to other people for cash—every month.
Example: A single mother with 2 to 3 kids receives this government entitlement for just food purchases alone. A monthly $500+ Link provision amounts to $6,000 annually, multiplied by 10 years = $60,000. Yet the babies are starving. The “Link Card” is the real American Express Card.
Recommendation: The physical "Link" card should have a recipient's picture ID, and recipients should be required to show the Link ID prior to cashiers completing purchase transactions.
WIC:
This government entitlement program—in addition to Link—provides money for single mothers to purchase milk, juice, cereal, etc. for babies they are continuously having that they cannot financially take care of.
Medicaid:
Free healthcare paid for by State government(s). What more can I say?!
Earned Income Tax Credit:
Federal government help that enables millions of low-income people receive thousands of dollars in annual federal income tax credits that renders hefty tax refunds every year. The more children a “worrying” mother has, the higher her federal tax refund is.
Example: Every year, low-income parents receive two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine-thousand dollars (or more) in federal tax refunds via the “earned income tax credit." And every year—most if not all—tax credit recipients never spend their sizeable tax refunds in ways that will surely enhance their educational or economic conditions. Instead they go buy used cars just about every year; or new TV’s/furniture, expensive hair weaves—ultimately spending the money in ways that do not meaningfully benefit them or their children.
Recommendation:
Earned income tax credits should be tied to a mandatory requirement to obtain higher education, with an eligibility period of every other year. Eligibility would be stipulated on having to submit official documented proof of attendance/completion of an accredited degree or trade program; or proof of payment of tuition or tutoring lessons, etc. for their children.
The tax credit recipient should only be eligible for tax credits every two years after providing said proof for each 2-year eligibility period up to 6 years.
Eligibility for earned income tax credits should expire in 6 years.
Example:
1. In order to be eligible for earned income tax credits every two years, the low-income qualifier would have to obtain an associates degree during eligibility years one through 2;
2. For eligibility for years three through four, the low-income qualifier would have to successfully obtain a Bachelor’s degree, and;
3. In order to qualify for eligibility years five through six, the low income qualifier should be required to obtain a Masters degree.
After a 4 to 6-year eligibility period, a low-income qualifier would no longer qualify for the earned income tax credit; and would have not only moved up academically, but would qualify to obtain a higher-paying job, thereby being able to relinquish dependency on government entitlement programs.
If a person does not engage the mandatory requirement to obtain higher education, they should not be eligible to take advantage of earned income tax credits, period!
Cell Phones:
The federal government provides no-to-low-income people with free cell phones and free cell phone service.
Disgrace:
I know people who are abusing this (luxury) government-financed privilege by having two and three free (government provided) cell phones. How is that for making an ass out of the sporting life?
Recommendation:
The government’s program of free cell phone service is a luxury and should be an entitlement exclusively for senior citizens.
No-to-low-income people who spend money to get their hair and nails done every week and are already receiving tens of thousands of dollars in government “help” every month/every year should not be entitled to receive free cell phones and cell phone services.
The U.S Congress should immediately revoke this costly luxury entitlement.
Public Education:
Free education: K-12th Grade. What more could you ask for? Um?
Pell Grants:
This government entitlement gives money to no-to-low-income individuals to attend college or universities to receive higher education as a means to achieve greater earning potential, or learn how to start their own businesses.
Disgrace:
Black people should be breaking the government bank with this entitlement, especially the fathers that Mary Mitchell mentioned who are selling drugs on the corners [everyday].
I could go on and on, but you get the picture, right? Right!
Now tell me this: What the heck more could President Obama do to help black people when black people have access to all the resources they need to help themselves but are not [largely] doing so. What gosh darn it!?
Tell me, Mary (black people)! What do you want President Obama to do that you and mostly everybody in the black community are not doing? Why didn’t you ask former President Bill Clinton the same question? Why haven’t you asked Mayor Emmanuel the same question? And Rahm Emmanuel was [also] elected to office with the majority vote of black people and he has no blacks in his cabinet—you’re not grinding him about that! Mary should be ashamed of herself. I know I am. I’m ashamed for/of all of us.
I'm simply saying!
Saishe Brokesom
Mary went to say in her article “…Yet in urban areas, too many children are still getting killed. Too many fathers are still trying to make a living selling drugs on the corner. Too many mothers still worry more about their kids walking down the street safely than about eating fresh vegetables. Frankly, black people have paid a hefty price for their loyalty…Now I hope he (Obama) will do more for the group that helped him get elected in the first place.”
I was embarrassed for Mary because she knows better, and she failed to mention exactly what it is President Obama should or could do for us. Not once did Mary, in her reprimand of President Obama, place responsibility on black people—where it rightfully belong—for what is going on in our communities (children getting killed; fathers selling drugs on street corners—everyday; mothers worrying about their kids walking safely down the streets that we live on).
Rather, Mary perpetuated the same ridiculous ideology that most black people invoke: “The government, the police, and the President aren’t doing enough to help black people to stop the killing in our communities and provide jobs and fresh vegetables…blah, blah, blah.”
I have yet to witness Mary putting forth any effort to help solve the problems she mentioned [above] in her article other than reporting on it.
Several years ago, because Mary is a high-profile and respected reporter in Chicago, I personally appealed to her to help bring women together to address the problems in our community and I have yet to hear from her.
As a reporter, Mary—to my knowledge—has not attempted to engage in dialogue with gang members in an effort to glean insight as to what is fueling the carnage in our communities, or how to solve it. Rather, [white] reporters Walter Jacobson of CBS [News] and [ABC national news anchor] Diane Sawyer came into our community to engage in dialogue with actual gangbangers to pin-point the anatomy of their murderous behavior. It should have been Mary [and us].
Mary failed to mention that we—black people—aren’t doing anything collectively to improve our dreadful social and economic conditions. I want to know what is it that Mary Mitchell and black people expect President Obama to do for us that we refuse to do for ourselves.
Keep in mind that African-Americans—just like everyone else—live in a land of prosperity, i.e., America, a capitalistic society where free enterprise is accessible to everyone with no restrictions on getting an education or starting a business.
African-Americans refuse to come together to collectively develop a plan to combine our resources and spending strength to support, expand, and create black enterprises. Neither President Obama, nor any form of government should be expected to bear sole responsibility for improving our local-level economic disparities and social atrocities.
What responsibility should we bear?
I cannot resist reminding [Mary Mitchell and] black people of just a few government financial entitlements (help from government) that black people—like every other race—already receive and have been receiving every month, every year for decades that are meant to be and should be used by [black] people to help improve their quality of life:
Section 8 Housing:
This federally-funded entitlement program pays all or a substantial portion of rent for no-to-low-income [black] people monthly/annually.
Example: A high-end monthly rent subsidy for a single mother with 3 or more children for up to $1,500 for a decent 3-4 bedroom apartment amounts to $18,000 annually; and many black people (mothers) have been receiving Section 8 government-financed housing for decades. $18,000 annually multiplied by 10 years is $180,000—then multiply that by 2 decades ($360,000). Now multiple this figure by millions of black people.
Link Program:
This federally-funded entitlement program titled “Link” gives hundreds of dollars in [cash and] food stamps to millions of no-to-low-income [black] people monthly.
Disgrace:
There are millions of mothers (and fathers) that do not use their Link food stamps to buy food for their kids. The kids go hungry while their mothers’ sell the Link provision to other people for cash—every month.
Example: A single mother with 2 to 3 kids receives this government entitlement for just food purchases alone. A monthly $500+ Link provision amounts to $6,000 annually, multiplied by 10 years = $60,000. Yet the babies are starving. The “Link Card” is the real American Express Card.
Recommendation: The physical "Link" card should have a recipient's picture ID, and recipients should be required to show the Link ID prior to cashiers completing purchase transactions.
WIC:
This government entitlement program—in addition to Link—provides money for single mothers to purchase milk, juice, cereal, etc. for babies they are continuously having that they cannot financially take care of.
Medicaid:
Free healthcare paid for by State government(s). What more can I say?!
Earned Income Tax Credit:
Federal government help that enables millions of low-income people receive thousands of dollars in annual federal income tax credits that renders hefty tax refunds every year. The more children a “worrying” mother has, the higher her federal tax refund is.
Example: Every year, low-income parents receive two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine-thousand dollars (or more) in federal tax refunds via the “earned income tax credit." And every year—most if not all—tax credit recipients never spend their sizeable tax refunds in ways that will surely enhance their educational or economic conditions. Instead they go buy used cars just about every year; or new TV’s/furniture, expensive hair weaves—ultimately spending the money in ways that do not meaningfully benefit them or their children.
Recommendation:
Earned income tax credits should be tied to a mandatory requirement to obtain higher education, with an eligibility period of every other year. Eligibility would be stipulated on having to submit official documented proof of attendance/completion of an accredited degree or trade program; or proof of payment of tuition or tutoring lessons, etc. for their children.
The tax credit recipient should only be eligible for tax credits every two years after providing said proof for each 2-year eligibility period up to 6 years.
Eligibility for earned income tax credits should expire in 6 years.
Example:
1. In order to be eligible for earned income tax credits every two years, the low-income qualifier would have to obtain an associates degree during eligibility years one through 2;
2. For eligibility for years three through four, the low-income qualifier would have to successfully obtain a Bachelor’s degree, and;
3. In order to qualify for eligibility years five through six, the low income qualifier should be required to obtain a Masters degree.
After a 4 to 6-year eligibility period, a low-income qualifier would no longer qualify for the earned income tax credit; and would have not only moved up academically, but would qualify to obtain a higher-paying job, thereby being able to relinquish dependency on government entitlement programs.
If a person does not engage the mandatory requirement to obtain higher education, they should not be eligible to take advantage of earned income tax credits, period!
Cell Phones:
The federal government provides no-to-low-income people with free cell phones and free cell phone service.
Disgrace:
I know people who are abusing this (luxury) government-financed privilege by having two and three free (government provided) cell phones. How is that for making an ass out of the sporting life?
Recommendation:
The government’s program of free cell phone service is a luxury and should be an entitlement exclusively for senior citizens.
No-to-low-income people who spend money to get their hair and nails done every week and are already receiving tens of thousands of dollars in government “help” every month/every year should not be entitled to receive free cell phones and cell phone services.
The U.S Congress should immediately revoke this costly luxury entitlement.
Public Education:
Free education: K-12th Grade. What more could you ask for? Um?
Pell Grants:
This government entitlement gives money to no-to-low-income individuals to attend college or universities to receive higher education as a means to achieve greater earning potential, or learn how to start their own businesses.
Disgrace:
Black people should be breaking the government bank with this entitlement, especially the fathers that Mary Mitchell mentioned who are selling drugs on the corners [everyday].
I could go on and on, but you get the picture, right? Right!
Now tell me this: What the heck more could President Obama do to help black people when black people have access to all the resources they need to help themselves but are not [largely] doing so. What gosh darn it!?
Tell me, Mary (black people)! What do you want President Obama to do that you and mostly everybody in the black community are not doing? Why didn’t you ask former President Bill Clinton the same question? Why haven’t you asked Mayor Emmanuel the same question? And Rahm Emmanuel was [also] elected to office with the majority vote of black people and he has no blacks in his cabinet—you’re not grinding him about that! Mary should be ashamed of herself. I know I am. I’m ashamed for/of all of us.
I'm simply saying!
Saishe Brokesom
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