Children Who Abuse Their Mothers

Recently, while in my doctor’s office, I—along with several other patients—witnessed a young woman in her mid-to-late thirties verbally and physically abusing her mother—who appeared to be in her early-to-mid sixties--after being called to see the doctor. The daughter’s tone was seething with contempt so much that I had to speak-up. And the fact that she slapped be mother in the back almost made me jump up and man-handle her.


I said to the daughter: “Sweetheart, your mother obviously cannot move as quickly as you’d like. Be more patient with her. Don’t treat her like that—that’s your mother.” The woman rolled her eyes at me--at which I felt my animal instincts surfaced again. This time I firmly said to the young woman: "If you hit or snatch your mother again, I'm going to be forced to protect her. So please do not snatch or slap her on the back again because I'm confident I am not going to like to go to jail."

After the doctor’s assistant again called them back to an examination room, the rest of us broke-out in discussion about what we had just witnessed. And I was astounded to learn that there was not one woman, respectively, sitting in that reception area that had not been abused in some shape, form or fashion by their adult child. We talked about how common it is now that younger people, particularly our children have no honor for their parents.

Later that same day, a neighbor contacted me via email telling me about how her 31-year old daughter cussed her out earlier in the day because she [my neighbor] would not allow her to use her car for a weekend out of town trip. My neighbor was devastated.

After reading her email, I called her. We talked and she cried for a couple of hours. She could not come to grips with the fact that her daughter spewed out such hatred, including calling her hideous names. She said to me: “…I had no idea she felt that way about me…I’m her mother.” I reminded her that she is not alone and referred her back to my daughter, as well as what I had witnessed earlier while at my doctor’s office.

As soon as our call ended, I decided to write about mothers who are abused by the children.

I know some of you have read my blog post titled: “A Daughter from Hell,” but the following serves to give further insight as to how I viewed and handled my situation with my daughter.

[Reminder:] I am a mother with a very cruel and abusive adult daughter, who has been this way all of her life. But I don't accept it. The end result was banishing her from my life forever. And I'm all good with it. No more "noise" in my life. Loving it!

It is one thing to have to put-up with an abusive son or daughter when they are minors. But it is quite another to tolerate an adult off-spring that is abusive--verbally and/or physically.

My daughter isn't crazy enough to physically abuse me because she knows she would end up in the hospital, jail or cemetery, exactly in that order. But she is not only verbally abusive to me, she is also abusive to her son and everyone who does not tolerate her lies, or people that she cannot manipulate in to giving her what she wants. My daughter is 41 years old.

I am specifically addressing parents, particularly mothers, who are [being] verbally and/or physically abused by their adult child or children, over the age of 18.

Do like I did: Urge your child to seek professional counseling. If your child refuses, banish him/her from your life and stick to it. Just because you are that child's mother [or father], that does not mean you are obligated to allow them to be a part of your life, especially with them terrorizing you.

My situation with my daughter became so tenured that I had to make a decision. I not only banished my daughter from my life, she is restricted from entering my home even after I die. She is completely disinherited, i.e., when I die, she will receive absolutely nothing from me or anything that belonged to me. She has been removed and replaced as beneficiary on insurance policies, bank accounts, etc. I literally had to set-the-stage to show her that there are serious consequences for her behavior. And I will never reverse my [ultimate] decisions.

By the way: No one could have ever convinced me that one day I would renounce my unconditional love for my daughter. You heard it right: I have resigned from loving my daughter. Why? Because my daughter is so vicious (cruel, nasty, brutal, inhuman, violent, sadistic, spiteful, malicious, mean, rancorous, backbiting, venomous, hurtful) I no longer have any love for her. I do not trust her with my love, and certainly do not trust her in my presence. Yeap! It’s like that. I have mourned her and moved on. She can never come back to me.

Don’t get me wrong: I have forgiven her—which is why she is still breathing God’s fresh air and walking [his] earth. It is simply a matter of never forgetting all the horrific lies she has told, the unimaginable things she has said, and the ugly/godforsaken things she has done to me, her father, my grandson and others. She does not deserve and will never receive any additional considerations and goodness from me. I’m just keeping it real. Most mothers do not have the courage I have. But I am counseling you on how to take “your power” back.

If your relationship with your child is any where close to where mine [was] with my daughter, or is worse, do as I did. Reject the relationship. Do not subject yourself to the highest level of dishonor and abuse from your child. Let him, her, or them know then let them go. You'll feel alone for a “minute” (for a while), but you’ll be at peace.

As humans, we are predisposed to heartache caused by our children because we try to hang-on to them for the rest of our lives. This is not normal. I have come to believe that as humans, we need to take heed to how animals relate to their off-spring. They acknowledge and adhere to their natural instinct(s).

If you have ever paid [any] attention to animals in the wild kingdom, you [may have] noticed how animals do it: They protect their off-spring while they're young--and without hesitation and on basic instincts, will kill to protect them. They teach them what to, where, and how to hunt, where and how to hide, and travel. But after an animal mother raises and teaches her off-spring how to survive, they force them to leave her forever. And in some instances, if she ever runs across any of them and they challenge or threaten her, her basic survival instincts kick-in, and she view them as just another asshole in the jungle and will kill them on the spot if necessary.

I’m not suggesting that human mothers kill their adult children. I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT AT ALL! But what I am saying is this: Never, ever allow yourself to be subjugated (dominated or conquered) by something you "shitted out," (birthed). Do not be afraid to have them arrested--and by all means, go to court; make them suffer the consequences. And pu-leeeeze distance yourself from your child and their reach.
Many people who are familiar with my decision to expel my daughter from my life [use to] to say to me: "Saishe, that's your daughter!" My reply: "Yeah. And therefore what? You honestly believe I'm suppose to humble myself to the epitome of terriorism from a kid I gave birth to? You have got to be out of your mind as well. I do not, under any circumstances tolerate such behavior, especially after a patten has been set."

So I say to all mothers/parents who are being and have been verbally/physically abused by their child: Do not be afraid to expel them from your life. Mothers/parents do not owe their sanity, safety, and well-being to their off-spring. Our problems begin when we as mothers/parents go against the natural grain of what is expected and acceptable.



Respectfully,

Saishe.

You Asked Yourself: Why Do "They" Treat Me So Bad

Have you ever wondered why someone treats you so cruel irrespective of your track record of always being kind, considerate, and generous to them? I know you have. But you haven’t yet figured out why they are vastly ungrateful, treat you so bad, take you for granted, and ultimately disrespect you even in public view.


Well allow me to tell you why: That person or those people believe you are weak. Yes! Weak! And they have absolutely no respect for you. In fact, they hate you, but they want to keep receiving what you are giving.

Take a minute—or several if need be—to consider the laws of nature/the law of the jungle—where being weak gets you killed.

When an animal is perceived to possess weaknesses such as being meek (gentle), sick or injured, fearful, or old, they are targeted to be destroyed (killed and/or consumed). Animals do this because they have zero-tolerance for [all of the above] weaknesses, i.e., weak energy is a profound aggravation, and the only way to overcome it is to terrorize it and destroy it. The same holds true among humans.

Cesar Milan (the “Dog Whisper”) often advise people that dogs perceive all of the above as weaknesses and naturally position themselves to challenge or harm you because they do not respect and will never submit to a “weak-energy” pack leader. Humans function exactly the same way—we just find it unacceptable.

Eons ago, a wise person declared: “People take kindness for weakness.” Meaning: When people think you are weak, they will prey upon your kindness and destroy you with words, acts of cruelty, and ultimately via physical destruction or elimination. This innate (natural) behavior among humans is identical to the natural behavior among animals—cold and warm-blooded.

Upon my acceptance of this sad but true reality, I find myself withdrawing from perpetrators of evil and demonstrators of ungratefulness—even among family, including my own child. I’m more silent about offering kind gestures and I’m completely intolerant of those who seek to offend acts of good will and compassion. I no longer second-guess whether “this person” meant to hurt me. Like animals, I totally rely on [my] instinct: If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t right. I do not continue along “that” path with trepidation (fear). Rather, I go in the opposite direction—away from “it” just as my instinct instructed me to do. As opposed to holding on to someone or some thing that has demonstrated over-and-over their contempt (disrespect/hatred) for my genuine and unconditional kindness, I’ve garnered the strength and courage to let them know then let them [“it”] go—permanently. No matter how much I love[d] them, and no matter how much I didn’t want to lose them, I walked completely away—never looking back. And it feels good. Oh so good. I’m at peace now—lonely but at peace. There is no noise in my life.

It’s that simple.

Now that you know let “it” and/or “them” go. Immediately after, you’ll find peace like I did.

I’m just sharing and saying!

Saishe Brokesom