I'm Often Told: "You're Too Kind..." (Inference: I'm Stupid...)

For decades, I've wondered what people [actually] meant when they said that to me.


Then one day, in a discussion with a Greek friend of mine, Penny, about me frequently having been told that I'm too kind, she said to me: "What people are saying to you is that you are stupid. In the Greek culture, too kind means stupid. People are actually admitting that they would not do what you do for people, and you're stupid for doing whatever you do to help people."

My response to Penny's comment was an uneasy, inquisitive laughter followed by asking: "Really?"

Why?

Because the remark, each time it [had] ever been spoken to me about me always felt like an insult rather than a compliment; and because Penny maintained a straight concerned expression on her face while imparting what she believed people really meant, I believed her.

For more than two-thirds of my life, I have been confused by peoples' aversion for or suspicion of [simple or extreme] acts of kinds.

I'm kind to people, especially and extremely so to those I love the most. I'm generous with my love, time, and resources. I'm compassionate, respectful, and helpful. I'm always there for those in need without fail. But I keep getting hurt by betrayal and acts of derision. For the life of me, I simply don't understand why. I'm naive enough to believe that if I am all of this to people, then I do not deserve to be hurt in any capacity for any reason.

I keep telling myself: "I'm done. I can't keep doing this. I'm tired of this. I don't understand why they treat me this way even though I'm good to them--have never disrespected or betrayed them. I never do anything to hurt them. I do everything I can for them..."

I've been looking for reasonable rationales for many years.

Then, I summoned the courage to watch the movie "Passion of the Christ." Well, I'm telling you: That movie reduced me to a blubbering, snotty-nose pulp of a person. The personal pain I felt while watching that movie was overwhelmingly overbearing because minus being nailed to a cross, I am often treated exactly the way Christ was treated in that movie. I came away from watching that movie with a greater sense of understanding, as well as a renewal of my purpose and commitment to believe and remain one of  "God's gift's to mankind" like my mother told me I am.

But I began looking at people differently. I realized that when you are the wiser in any given situation--good, bad, or indifferent--you bear the burden of doing the right thing even if the opposing person or entity is completely wrong. I received and grasped an enhanced ability to forgive without questioning, whereas I use to forgive and nearly drive myself crazy about the "whys."

I began to accept my responsibility to always set the "good example," no matter how painful or difficult it may be because my mother assured us that "we are not responsible for how we are received, but rather for what we do, how we do it, and for what purpose." So it became easier to by-pass the insults and disregards whenever encountered. Smiles automatically beset my brow in the face of adversity because I know that when the universal laws are acknowledged and accepted, the laws of retribution cannot come into play.

When a burden becomes too much to bear, I walk away without contempt or regret.

This is how I want to be remembered. After I'm gone from this earth, who I was, and how I served and treated mankind shall serve as my legacy--not how "they" treated or received me.

Love, Saishe!