Monday, June 3, 2013
Pisces Hate Love. Pisces Hate Rejection. Pisces Prefer Low-Life...
My Pisces have a stringent hatred for those who try to show them love--a disdain that is akin to Dracula's inability to tolerate sunlight. They honestly cannot tolerate love--it stresses them to the max and makes them physically and instantly ill, i.e., severe headaches, fatigue, nausea, pain somewhere in the body. Love enrages them. Whenever they encounter harmonious events and relationships, their natural proclivity to destroy rises to the surface and they stop whatever it is they are doing to put tons of effort into obliterating even the slightest moment(s) of joy and peace. They will even engage unimaginable lies to turn a good situation into a bad one; or flat out become violent, especially if the "attention" is not centered on or about them. When the Pisces discover two people or a group of people that genuinely love one another, they will interject themselves into [that] relationship for the purpose of destroying it--for no reason other than jealousy and their contempt for love.
And for God's sake, do not reject [a] Pisces or you'll have hell to pay. And God help you if you do not allow them to influence events--especially in social gatherings. They will insult you, your guest, and anyone who attempt to intervene to quell their rage over not being in the command role of "shot-caller." They will snap over not being able to control who can attend [your] event; or what music is played; or where [your] guest should sit; or how much food/drinks people should be allowed to consume; or if guest should be permitted to keep their shoes on; or if they don't like a person, that person should be ejected--crazy crap like that. I'm not talking about "kid" Pisces. I'm talking about "adult" Pisces.
[My ] Pisces are so bad about not being able to handle rejection and the lack of having a commanding role--in someone's life--they literally stalk the person [or people] on-site--all over them like lint on nylon--cussing and physically attacking in some instances. [My] Pisces honesty cannot grasp being told "no." It sends them into lunar-psychopathy and they have to be physically removed to stop their behavior. But then, they wait around on the outside for the target of their rage to exit so they can continue where they left off.
I've come to notice that my Pisces have a tendency to be attracted to low-life/low-information people. This sort of attraction is based on the Pisces always having to feel superior. They must have people around that have very little--people who look-up to them. They pretend to be financially well-off, and have no problem reminding the less fortunate that they are poor, uneducated, and otherwise "nothing" in the eyes of them and many others.
The other variable of my Pisces' preference(s) for the low/seedy side of life is because that is pretty much who they are. My Pisces are cunning liars; swindlers; thieves; beggars; untrustworthy manipulators; closet alcoholics; promiscuous; sneaky; back-stabbers; cheats; pretentious hucksters, and every other kind of seedy character there is--and I'm talking about the ones with good jobs and decent means by which to live. (I cannot even begin to describe the ones that don't have anything other than they are all of the above times one-million--and that's really bad.)
My female Pisces prefer low-life men, and my male Pisces prefer males over females in every aspect of their lives. The males find it difficult to bond with anyone, and usually gravitate towards gay men that they can easily control and manipulate--every last male Pisces [that was] in my life is like this. They are extremely mean and fussy, and have a tendency to tolerate men/people who treat them exceptionally bad. Go figure.
Keep in mind: I'm speaking of [all] the Pisces in my life--family and otherwise. And all of the above does not necessarily apply to you (as a Pisces) or any other Pisces you may know. Again: I'm sharing what I know and have experienced with the Pisces in my family and friends that use to be part of my life. I eliminated every Pisces I know from my life--family, friends, and foes--forever!
I'm simply saying, giving you additional insight into the Pisces that use to be in my life.
Saishe says...
Monday, May 6, 2013
"I" Come Before "U" [Even] In The Alphabet!
I am a product of generational compassion, patience, and generosity—it’s in my DNA, i.e.,I am genetically predisposed to being this way. I come from a long-line of nurturing women, and helping the “have-nots” and the vulnerable is a passed-down-through-the-generations tradition. Approximately 95% of us are this way; the other 5% [of us] are not “givers;” rather, they are “takers.” Many people have often said to me: “You’re too kind.” My standard reply has been: “I was raised this way.
I recognized the “giving” spirit in our family at a very young age. The women in our family were always helping people; and people would always come to them for advice (I was nosey, listening to everything the adults talked about—even if I had to hide to hear). They even made us share with others who were around that did not have what we had. It always felt right—to me anyway—and I grew-up believing people appreciate[d] kind considerations.
Up until the Year 2008, I was generous to a fault. And I say up until 2008 because my mother, on her death bed, instructed me and made me promise to reassess my relationships with people and my willingness to assist, especially family. She issued this directive: "Put yourself first." She recognized that I often denied myself the things I wanted or needed in order to help others, and she knew [some] people were taking advantage of my generosity/abusing my kindness.
During the course of my life, and prior to her death, my mother never tried to stop me from helping people. She raised us to help our “fellow man.” But if she was around when someone was asking for my help, and she felt that person sought my help too frequently, she would “grill” them on the basis of their need. She ventured to ask people: “What are doing with your money? How did you end-up in this predicament? How and when will you be able pay her back? Didn’t Saishe just help you not too long ago—again? I've been telling Saishe to put herself first and stop helping everybody with a sob-story and a fine life-style.”
I use to think she was being too harsh on the person [people]. I’m far from being stupid, but I would try interjecting on the person’s behalf when my mother would force them to justify their need(s). I persisted until she would give me the “look” while she was inquiring—a “look” I read well every time. The “look” meant “shut the hell up! I’m trying to identify this person’s motive(s).” She would [then] tell me: “Saishe, you are generous to a fault.” I was ignorant as to what she meant by that, and it took me several decades to grasp the true essence of what she was telling me.
Several days before “Mothers Day” in 2007, my mother said me to: Saishe, before I die, I have to impart this tid-bit of realism: "I" comes before "U" in the alphabet. “Start saying no to people…you need to test the merits of your relationships with people…people only call or hang-around you because they know you will give them anything they need—no matter how much or how often…if you start saying no, you will find out who is for-real and who isn’t because the fake takers will disappear instantly, and the ones who appear to be for-real might stick-around—but I doubt it because when they realize the getting isn’t good anymore, they’ll push-off to…it is my belief that after you start saying no, everybody will disappear and you’ll be the last one standing in the ‘game’… I promise you, you will be alone…” She went on to say: “Stop trying to buy love…most people lack appreciation for the things you do for them because the ones you’re helping now and in the past treat you like s---…and they will quickly show you that if you start saying no to them…” Every time she said things like this to me a chill would rush through my core causing me to shutter because part of me knew she was speaking the truth.
It took awhile for me to recalibrate myself to say “no” when someone asked me for money or some other extraordinary favor. It was hard to turn them down—it wasn’t innate for me to say “no.” I mean: I really struggled with it, but I had to do it because I was living a painful existence, i.e., I was exceptionally good to people, yet they (especially family) often abused me in some manner. I firmly use to believe that if I am respectful and good to you, by you, and for you, you have no reason to hurt me. As smart as I am, nevertheless I was credulous when I thought [my] help was needed.
In the meantime, while I was recalibrating, I starting asking for help—not financial—from family members with things like helping me clean-out my basement or garage, mowing my lawn, or moving large furniture for paint jobs, etc., and every time I was turned down. This helped me tremendously in learning how to say “no” to them.
Eventually, I achieved reprogramming myself. I’ve been saying “no” since the Year 2008, and family disappeared just like Mama said they would, including the “takers” on the periphery of life that were sent to me.
However, I am still a “giver” to children and senior citizens in need. I just don’t do the healthy and the greedy any more. I lost the desire to “give unconditionally” because there should be conditions—"people do not respect free," nor do they respect that which they receive without condition(s). One of my mentors (who was an Economist and Certified Public Accountant, etc.) told me this and he also said: “People respect and value that which they pay for…”
Ask yourself whether or not you’re a “giver.” If so, do an inventory of your “giving.”
If at any time you don't feel right about “giving,” test the merit of your relationship(s) like I did. Start saying “no,” and watch/assess the reaction(s) of the seeker(s). Better yet, ask for their help and see if they’re willing to help you.
On a final note: Since I’ve started saying “no,” I’ve been noticing that [most] people have a healthy dislike for people they cannot manipulate or “freeload” from. The "takers" in my life now know that I know the essence of "I" come before "U."
Saishe Sees! Saishe Says!
I recognized the “giving” spirit in our family at a very young age. The women in our family were always helping people; and people would always come to them for advice (I was nosey, listening to everything the adults talked about—even if I had to hide to hear). They even made us share with others who were around that did not have what we had. It always felt right—to me anyway—and I grew-up believing people appreciate[d] kind considerations.
Up until the Year 2008, I was generous to a fault. And I say up until 2008 because my mother, on her death bed, instructed me and made me promise to reassess my relationships with people and my willingness to assist, especially family. She issued this directive: "Put yourself first." She recognized that I often denied myself the things I wanted or needed in order to help others, and she knew [some] people were taking advantage of my generosity/abusing my kindness.
During the course of my life, and prior to her death, my mother never tried to stop me from helping people. She raised us to help our “fellow man.” But if she was around when someone was asking for my help, and she felt that person sought my help too frequently, she would “grill” them on the basis of their need. She ventured to ask people: “What are doing with your money? How did you end-up in this predicament? How and when will you be able pay her back? Didn’t Saishe just help you not too long ago—again? I've been telling Saishe to put herself first and stop helping everybody with a sob-story and a fine life-style.”
I use to think she was being too harsh on the person [people]. I’m far from being stupid, but I would try interjecting on the person’s behalf when my mother would force them to justify their need(s). I persisted until she would give me the “look” while she was inquiring—a “look” I read well every time. The “look” meant “shut the hell up! I’m trying to identify this person’s motive(s).” She would [then] tell me: “Saishe, you are generous to a fault.” I was ignorant as to what she meant by that, and it took me several decades to grasp the true essence of what she was telling me.
Several days before “Mothers Day” in 2007, my mother said me to: Saishe, before I die, I have to impart this tid-bit of realism: "I" comes before "U" in the alphabet. “Start saying no to people…you need to test the merits of your relationships with people…people only call or hang-around you because they know you will give them anything they need—no matter how much or how often…if you start saying no, you will find out who is for-real and who isn’t because the fake takers will disappear instantly, and the ones who appear to be for-real might stick-around—but I doubt it because when they realize the getting isn’t good anymore, they’ll push-off to…it is my belief that after you start saying no, everybody will disappear and you’ll be the last one standing in the ‘game’… I promise you, you will be alone…” She went on to say: “Stop trying to buy love…most people lack appreciation for the things you do for them because the ones you’re helping now and in the past treat you like s---…and they will quickly show you that if you start saying no to them…” Every time she said things like this to me a chill would rush through my core causing me to shutter because part of me knew she was speaking the truth.
It took awhile for me to recalibrate myself to say “no” when someone asked me for money or some other extraordinary favor. It was hard to turn them down—it wasn’t innate for me to say “no.” I mean: I really struggled with it, but I had to do it because I was living a painful existence, i.e., I was exceptionally good to people, yet they (especially family) often abused me in some manner. I firmly use to believe that if I am respectful and good to you, by you, and for you, you have no reason to hurt me. As smart as I am, nevertheless I was credulous when I thought [my] help was needed.
In the meantime, while I was recalibrating, I starting asking for help—not financial—from family members with things like helping me clean-out my basement or garage, mowing my lawn, or moving large furniture for paint jobs, etc., and every time I was turned down. This helped me tremendously in learning how to say “no” to them.
Eventually, I achieved reprogramming myself. I’ve been saying “no” since the Year 2008, and family disappeared just like Mama said they would, including the “takers” on the periphery of life that were sent to me.
However, I am still a “giver” to children and senior citizens in need. I just don’t do the healthy and the greedy any more. I lost the desire to “give unconditionally” because there should be conditions—"people do not respect free," nor do they respect that which they receive without condition(s). One of my mentors (who was an Economist and Certified Public Accountant, etc.) told me this and he also said: “People respect and value that which they pay for…”
Ask yourself whether or not you’re a “giver.” If so, do an inventory of your “giving.”
If at any time you don't feel right about “giving,” test the merit of your relationship(s) like I did. Start saying “no,” and watch/assess the reaction(s) of the seeker(s). Better yet, ask for their help and see if they’re willing to help you.
On a final note: Since I’ve started saying “no,” I’ve been noticing that [most] people have a healthy dislike for people they cannot manipulate or “freeload” from. The "takers" in my life now know that I know the essence of "I" come before "U."
Saishe Sees! Saishe Says!
Familiarity Breeds Contempt
Are you familiar with the wise old saying: Familiarity breeds contempt?” If not, take the time to acquaint yourself then take heed to it because its meaning is one of the principal avenues people use to abuse you emotionally and/or destroy your integrity.
While growing up my mother often broached this subject to assure and remind me and my siblings that privacy is the best policy. She trained us not to volunteer information and to only answer what is asked of us—if the inquiry was not too intrusive. Frequently, she told us: “The less people know about you, the better.” This is a principle that she required us to believe, adhere to, and live by.
Whenever my mother was in the presence of us and our [so-call] friends, and she heard them asking us personal questions, she would cut us off cold from answering the question(s) and ask them: “What is the value in you knowing that? Why do you want to know that?" Or, she would bluntly say: “That is absolutely none of your business! Stop asking people about their personal business! A dog that’ll bring a bone will carry a bone…” And sometimes she would say to us in front of our friend(s): “This girl is not your friend.” Then she would make them leave our home. Yeah! It was always shocking to witness.
Although we always followed our mother’s lead, we felt—when we were young—that she was being “old-school” and untrusting; didn’t want us to have friends, etc. And of course our friends did not like her at all. But guess what: Mama was right! Over the years, I perfected being a “heeder” of my mother’s advice.
Familiar means: To know (Known). Breed means: Produce. Contempt means Disrespect/Hatred…
When you reveal secrets, personal and/or confidential information to others, you are making that information known thereby making people familiar with you and your circumstances. If and when a falling-out occurs between you and that person, more than likely that person will use the information they know about you to breed (produce and unleash) contempt (disrespect/hatred) for you.
Most of my life, I have been an extremely private person. Early on in life, I became “the wiser,” and began fiercely guarding my privacy, allowing absolutely no one to breach it. And if anyone made an attempt, I would stop them in their tracks (and there has been a few I had to damage psychologically for life—no holds barred! Believe it!). But I learned that “family” members are the truly the ones who use what they know about you against you.
My sisters were the biggest offenders at exercising “familiarity breeds contempt,” especially the one who is a Scorpio—this female is deadly. So while I harbored a utopian concept about family, I seldom share[d] anything personal about me with them. Whatever my sisters knew about me was by default because we lived in the same house. They initially taught me not to trust people with confidential information.
When we were kids, I noticed that whenever one of my sisters was around a particular friend, respectively, they would slander another friend who wasn’t present. Then when the slandered friend came [back] around, they would vilify the friend that participated in the slandering of the previously slandered friend. This was disgusting to me. I was always insulted by such behavior and would take my sisters to task for it in the presence of their friend(s). I would even go as far as reading the riot act to their friends for engaging then pretending to be friends with the very people they held contempt for. Witnessing what my sisters and their friends did to others was a driving force behind me being afraid to have friends. But what really convinced not to tell [people] anything personal about me was my mother telling my business anytime, anywhere, to anyone--this blew me.
The few friends I had early in my adulthood proved as well to be practitioners of familiarity breeds contempt. I made it perfectly clear to them how adverse I was to them stabbing [their] friends/family in the back, and assumed if they did it to people who placed confidence in them they would do it to me. So needless-to-say, I never was able to maintain friendships due to my principles. And to this day, I do not have any friends. Rather, I have a couple acquaintances with whom I socialize with on limited as-needed basis. I do not have allow visitors in my home—even some family members—and seldom do I visit other people. And I never, ever discuss any personal or business matters with anyone. I am guilty only of speaking-up when the time comes—no matter who it is or what it is about. Eventually people stopped coming to me with malicious gossip, and cautioned others about the tongue-lashing they would-be-in-for if they engaged in my presence.
I have seen familiarity breeds contempt” in-play and it’s ugly. So whenever I am approached by someone who became a victim and want counseling, the first thing I ask the person is: Are you still associating with the perpetrator?” If the response is “yes,” I ask “why.” Usually their response is non-sense so I simply say to them: “The less people know about you, the better—remember that and stop making the same mistake by telling people your business.”
In most instances, it is easy to identify people who are capable of or have intent on being a practitioner of “familiarity breeds contempt” because they ask too many questions. Usually, 90% to 100% of their conversation(s) with you consists of questions—probing—rarely offering up information pertaining to them. Their queries are usually highly personal and targeted; and when they don’t receive the exact information they are seeking, they regularly become extremely and oddly irritated. Beware! Also beware of friends who become irritated with you for no reason—they are definitely guilty of betraying your trust.
Be alert to people who bring negative information to you about others and prologue (introduce) their unfavorable commentary by stating: “Don’t tell them I told you but...” The person is definitely not your friend. If a “real” friend want to make you aware of something they think you should know, they do not ask you to hide the source of the information they’ve given you, and they will defend your honor—upfront, on-the-spot (like I do/have done).
Never be reluctant to walk away from people who violate your trust. If a person, including family ever betray you and/or cause you to suffer any level of emotional pain that has proven to be mentally and/or physically unhealthy for you, keep them out of your life—even stay away from the people they socialize with.
If you’re in a place or a situation that scares you, or is otherwise adverse to you and your way of life, leave and stay away from that place or situation. You can only be exposed to that which you subject yourself to—or allow others to subject you to. You do not owe anyone your peace of mind, nor should you never knowingly give access to a person who has already infringed your reputation or integrity.
I have eliminated so many people and family members from my life(including people on the periphery of their respective lives)that I virtually became an observationist(loner). However, I'm not suggesting that you become a loner, but I am recommending that you eliminate those from your life who violate your trust.
One other thing: The longer I exist as an observationist the better I'm getting to know myself—and others.
Love, Saishe (Sees. Saishe Says.)
While growing up my mother often broached this subject to assure and remind me and my siblings that privacy is the best policy. She trained us not to volunteer information and to only answer what is asked of us—if the inquiry was not too intrusive. Frequently, she told us: “The less people know about you, the better.” This is a principle that she required us to believe, adhere to, and live by.
Whenever my mother was in the presence of us and our [so-call] friends, and she heard them asking us personal questions, she would cut us off cold from answering the question(s) and ask them: “What is the value in you knowing that? Why do you want to know that?" Or, she would bluntly say: “That is absolutely none of your business! Stop asking people about their personal business! A dog that’ll bring a bone will carry a bone…” And sometimes she would say to us in front of our friend(s): “This girl is not your friend.” Then she would make them leave our home. Yeah! It was always shocking to witness.
Although we always followed our mother’s lead, we felt—when we were young—that she was being “old-school” and untrusting; didn’t want us to have friends, etc. And of course our friends did not like her at all. But guess what: Mama was right! Over the years, I perfected being a “heeder” of my mother’s advice.
Familiar means: To know (Known). Breed means: Produce. Contempt means Disrespect/Hatred…
When you reveal secrets, personal and/or confidential information to others, you are making that information known thereby making people familiar with you and your circumstances. If and when a falling-out occurs between you and that person, more than likely that person will use the information they know about you to breed (produce and unleash) contempt (disrespect/hatred) for you.
Most of my life, I have been an extremely private person. Early on in life, I became “the wiser,” and began fiercely guarding my privacy, allowing absolutely no one to breach it. And if anyone made an attempt, I would stop them in their tracks (and there has been a few I had to damage psychologically for life—no holds barred! Believe it!). But I learned that “family” members are the truly the ones who use what they know about you against you.
My sisters were the biggest offenders at exercising “familiarity breeds contempt,” especially the one who is a Scorpio—this female is deadly. So while I harbored a utopian concept about family, I seldom share[d] anything personal about me with them. Whatever my sisters knew about me was by default because we lived in the same house. They initially taught me not to trust people with confidential information.
When we were kids, I noticed that whenever one of my sisters was around a particular friend, respectively, they would slander another friend who wasn’t present. Then when the slandered friend came [back] around, they would vilify the friend that participated in the slandering of the previously slandered friend. This was disgusting to me. I was always insulted by such behavior and would take my sisters to task for it in the presence of their friend(s). I would even go as far as reading the riot act to their friends for engaging then pretending to be friends with the very people they held contempt for. Witnessing what my sisters and their friends did to others was a driving force behind me being afraid to have friends. But what really convinced not to tell [people] anything personal about me was my mother telling my business anytime, anywhere, to anyone--this blew me.
The few friends I had early in my adulthood proved as well to be practitioners of familiarity breeds contempt. I made it perfectly clear to them how adverse I was to them stabbing [their] friends/family in the back, and assumed if they did it to people who placed confidence in them they would do it to me. So needless-to-say, I never was able to maintain friendships due to my principles. And to this day, I do not have any friends. Rather, I have a couple acquaintances with whom I socialize with on limited as-needed basis. I do not have allow visitors in my home—even some family members—and seldom do I visit other people. And I never, ever discuss any personal or business matters with anyone. I am guilty only of speaking-up when the time comes—no matter who it is or what it is about. Eventually people stopped coming to me with malicious gossip, and cautioned others about the tongue-lashing they would-be-in-for if they engaged in my presence.
I have seen familiarity breeds contempt” in-play and it’s ugly. So whenever I am approached by someone who became a victim and want counseling, the first thing I ask the person is: Are you still associating with the perpetrator?” If the response is “yes,” I ask “why.” Usually their response is non-sense so I simply say to them: “The less people know about you, the better—remember that and stop making the same mistake by telling people your business.”
In most instances, it is easy to identify people who are capable of or have intent on being a practitioner of “familiarity breeds contempt” because they ask too many questions. Usually, 90% to 100% of their conversation(s) with you consists of questions—probing—rarely offering up information pertaining to them. Their queries are usually highly personal and targeted; and when they don’t receive the exact information they are seeking, they regularly become extremely and oddly irritated. Beware! Also beware of friends who become irritated with you for no reason—they are definitely guilty of betraying your trust.
Be alert to people who bring negative information to you about others and prologue (introduce) their unfavorable commentary by stating: “Don’t tell them I told you but...” The person is definitely not your friend. If a “real” friend want to make you aware of something they think you should know, they do not ask you to hide the source of the information they’ve given you, and they will defend your honor—upfront, on-the-spot (like I do/have done).
Never be reluctant to walk away from people who violate your trust. If a person, including family ever betray you and/or cause you to suffer any level of emotional pain that has proven to be mentally and/or physically unhealthy for you, keep them out of your life—even stay away from the people they socialize with.
If you’re in a place or a situation that scares you, or is otherwise adverse to you and your way of life, leave and stay away from that place or situation. You can only be exposed to that which you subject yourself to—or allow others to subject you to. You do not owe anyone your peace of mind, nor should you never knowingly give access to a person who has already infringed your reputation or integrity.
I have eliminated so many people and family members from my life(including people on the periphery of their respective lives)that I virtually became an observationist(loner). However, I'm not suggesting that you become a loner, but I am recommending that you eliminate those from your life who violate your trust.
One other thing: The longer I exist as an observationist the better I'm getting to know myself—and others.
Love, Saishe (Sees. Saishe Says.)
Friday, March 22, 2013
Children Who Abuse Their Mothers
Recently, while in my doctor’s office, I—along with several other patients—witnessed a young woman in her mid-to-late thirties verbally and physically abusing her mother—who appeared to be in her early-to-mid sixties--after being called to see the doctor. The daughter’s tone was seething with contempt so much that I had to speak-up. And the fact that she slapped be mother in the back almost made me jump up and man-handle her.
I said to the daughter: “Sweetheart, your mother obviously cannot move as quickly as you’d like. Be more patient with her. Don’t treat her like that—that’s your mother.” The woman rolled her eyes at me--at which I felt my animal instincts surfaced again. This time I firmly said to the young woman: "If you hit or snatch your mother again, I'm going to be forced to protect her. So please do not snatch or slap her on the back again because I'm confident I am not going to like to go to jail."
After the doctor’s assistant again called them back to an examination room, the rest of us broke-out in discussion about what we had just witnessed. And I was astounded to learn that there was not one woman, respectively, sitting in that reception area that had not been abused in some shape, form or fashion by their adult child. We talked about how common it is now that younger people, particularly our children have no honor for their parents.
Later that same day, a neighbor contacted me via email telling me about how her 31-year old daughter cussed her out earlier in the day because she [my neighbor] would not allow her to use her car for a weekend out of town trip. My neighbor was devastated.
After reading her email, I called her. We talked and she cried for a couple of hours. She could not come to grips with the fact that her daughter spewed out such hatred, including calling her hideous names. She said to me: “…I had no idea she felt that way about me…I’m her mother.” I reminded her that she is not alone and referred her back to my daughter, as well as what I had witnessed earlier while at my doctor’s office.
As soon as our call ended, I decided to write about mothers who are abused by the children.
I know some of you have read my blog post titled: “A Daughter from Hell,” but the following serves to give further insight as to how I viewed and handled my situation with my daughter.
[Reminder:] I am a mother with a very cruel and abusive adult daughter, who has been this way all of her life. But I don't accept it. The end result was banishing her from my life forever. And I'm all good with it. No more "noise" in my life. Loving it!
It is one thing to have to put-up with an abusive son or daughter when they are minors. But it is quite another to tolerate an adult off-spring that is abusive--verbally and/or physically.
My daughter isn't crazy enough to physically abuse me because she knows she would end up in the hospital, jail or cemetery, exactly in that order. But she is not only verbally abusive to me, she is also abusive to her son and everyone who does not tolerate her lies, or people that she cannot manipulate in to giving her what she wants. My daughter is 41 years old.
I am specifically addressing parents, particularly mothers, who are [being] verbally and/or physically abused by their adult child or children, over the age of 18.
Do like I did: Urge your child to seek professional counseling. If your child refuses, banish him/her from your life and stick to it. Just because you are that child's mother [or father], that does not mean you are obligated to allow them to be a part of your life, especially with them terrorizing you.
My situation with my daughter became so tenured that I had to make a decision. I not only banished my daughter from my life, she is restricted from entering my home even after I die. She is completely disinherited, i.e., when I die, she will receive absolutely nothing from me or anything that belonged to me. She has been removed and replaced as beneficiary on insurance policies, bank accounts, etc. I literally had to set-the-stage to show her that there are serious consequences for her behavior. And I will never reverse my [ultimate] decisions.
By the way: No one could have ever convinced me that one day I would renounce my unconditional love for my daughter. You heard it right: I have resigned from loving my daughter. Why? Because my daughter is so vicious (cruel, nasty, brutal, inhuman, violent, sadistic, spiteful, malicious, mean, rancorous, backbiting, venomous, hurtful) I no longer have any love for her. I do not trust her with my love, and certainly do not trust her in my presence. Yeap! It’s like that. I have mourned her and moved on. She can never come back to me.
Don’t get me wrong: I have forgiven her—which is why she is still breathing God’s fresh air and walking [his] earth. It is simply a matter of never forgetting all the horrific lies she has told, the unimaginable things she has said, and the ugly/godforsaken things she has done to me, her father, my grandson and others. She does not deserve and will never receive any additional considerations and goodness from me. I’m just keeping it real. Most mothers do not have the courage I have. But I am counseling you on how to take “your power” back.
If your relationship with your child is any where close to where mine [was] with my daughter, or is worse, do as I did. Reject the relationship. Do not subject yourself to the highest level of dishonor and abuse from your child. Let him, her, or them know then let them go. You'll feel alone for a “minute” (for a while), but you’ll be at peace.
As humans, we are predisposed to heartache caused by our children because we try to hang-on to them for the rest of our lives. This is not normal. I have come to believe that as humans, we need to take heed to how animals relate to their off-spring. They acknowledge and adhere to their natural instinct(s).
If you have ever paid [any] attention to animals in the wild kingdom, you [may have] noticed how animals do it: They protect their off-spring while they're young--and without hesitation and on basic instincts, will kill to protect them. They teach them what to, where, and how to hunt, where and how to hide, and travel. But after an animal mother raises and teaches her off-spring how to survive, they force them to leave her forever. And in some instances, if she ever runs across any of them and they challenge or threaten her, her basic survival instincts kick-in, and she view them as just another asshole in the jungle and will kill them on the spot if necessary.
I’m not suggesting that human mothers kill their adult children. I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT AT ALL! But what I am saying is this: Never, ever allow yourself to be subjugated (dominated or conquered) by something you "shitted out," (birthed). Do not be afraid to have them arrested--and by all means, go to court; make them suffer the consequences. And pu-leeeeze distance yourself from your child and their reach.
Many people who are familiar with my decision to expel my daughter from my life [use to] to say to me: "Saishe, that's your daughter!" My reply: "Yeah. And therefore what? You honestly believe I'm suppose to humble myself to the epitome of terriorism from a kid I gave birth to? You have got to be out of your mind as well. I do not, under any circumstances tolerate such behavior, especially after a patten has been set."
So I say to all mothers/parents who are being and have been verbally/physically abused by their child: Do not be afraid to expel them from your life. Mothers/parents do not owe their sanity, safety, and well-being to their off-spring. Our problems begin when we as mothers/parents go against the natural grain of what is expected and acceptable.
Respectfully,
Saishe.
I said to the daughter: “Sweetheart, your mother obviously cannot move as quickly as you’d like. Be more patient with her. Don’t treat her like that—that’s your mother.” The woman rolled her eyes at me--at which I felt my animal instincts surfaced again. This time I firmly said to the young woman: "If you hit or snatch your mother again, I'm going to be forced to protect her. So please do not snatch or slap her on the back again because I'm confident I am not going to like to go to jail."
After the doctor’s assistant again called them back to an examination room, the rest of us broke-out in discussion about what we had just witnessed. And I was astounded to learn that there was not one woman, respectively, sitting in that reception area that had not been abused in some shape, form or fashion by their adult child. We talked about how common it is now that younger people, particularly our children have no honor for their parents.
Later that same day, a neighbor contacted me via email telling me about how her 31-year old daughter cussed her out earlier in the day because she [my neighbor] would not allow her to use her car for a weekend out of town trip. My neighbor was devastated.
After reading her email, I called her. We talked and she cried for a couple of hours. She could not come to grips with the fact that her daughter spewed out such hatred, including calling her hideous names. She said to me: “…I had no idea she felt that way about me…I’m her mother.” I reminded her that she is not alone and referred her back to my daughter, as well as what I had witnessed earlier while at my doctor’s office.
As soon as our call ended, I decided to write about mothers who are abused by the children.
I know some of you have read my blog post titled: “A Daughter from Hell,” but the following serves to give further insight as to how I viewed and handled my situation with my daughter.
[Reminder:] I am a mother with a very cruel and abusive adult daughter, who has been this way all of her life. But I don't accept it. The end result was banishing her from my life forever. And I'm all good with it. No more "noise" in my life. Loving it!
It is one thing to have to put-up with an abusive son or daughter when they are minors. But it is quite another to tolerate an adult off-spring that is abusive--verbally and/or physically.
My daughter isn't crazy enough to physically abuse me because she knows she would end up in the hospital, jail or cemetery, exactly in that order. But she is not only verbally abusive to me, she is also abusive to her son and everyone who does not tolerate her lies, or people that she cannot manipulate in to giving her what she wants. My daughter is 41 years old.
I am specifically addressing parents, particularly mothers, who are [being] verbally and/or physically abused by their adult child or children, over the age of 18.
Do like I did: Urge your child to seek professional counseling. If your child refuses, banish him/her from your life and stick to it. Just because you are that child's mother [or father], that does not mean you are obligated to allow them to be a part of your life, especially with them terrorizing you.
My situation with my daughter became so tenured that I had to make a decision. I not only banished my daughter from my life, she is restricted from entering my home even after I die. She is completely disinherited, i.e., when I die, she will receive absolutely nothing from me or anything that belonged to me. She has been removed and replaced as beneficiary on insurance policies, bank accounts, etc. I literally had to set-the-stage to show her that there are serious consequences for her behavior. And I will never reverse my [ultimate] decisions.
By the way: No one could have ever convinced me that one day I would renounce my unconditional love for my daughter. You heard it right: I have resigned from loving my daughter. Why? Because my daughter is so vicious (cruel, nasty, brutal, inhuman, violent, sadistic, spiteful, malicious, mean, rancorous, backbiting, venomous, hurtful) I no longer have any love for her. I do not trust her with my love, and certainly do not trust her in my presence. Yeap! It’s like that. I have mourned her and moved on. She can never come back to me.
Don’t get me wrong: I have forgiven her—which is why she is still breathing God’s fresh air and walking [his] earth. It is simply a matter of never forgetting all the horrific lies she has told, the unimaginable things she has said, and the ugly/godforsaken things she has done to me, her father, my grandson and others. She does not deserve and will never receive any additional considerations and goodness from me. I’m just keeping it real. Most mothers do not have the courage I have. But I am counseling you on how to take “your power” back.
If your relationship with your child is any where close to where mine [was] with my daughter, or is worse, do as I did. Reject the relationship. Do not subject yourself to the highest level of dishonor and abuse from your child. Let him, her, or them know then let them go. You'll feel alone for a “minute” (for a while), but you’ll be at peace.
As humans, we are predisposed to heartache caused by our children because we try to hang-on to them for the rest of our lives. This is not normal. I have come to believe that as humans, we need to take heed to how animals relate to their off-spring. They acknowledge and adhere to their natural instinct(s).
If you have ever paid [any] attention to animals in the wild kingdom, you [may have] noticed how animals do it: They protect their off-spring while they're young--and without hesitation and on basic instincts, will kill to protect them. They teach them what to, where, and how to hunt, where and how to hide, and travel. But after an animal mother raises and teaches her off-spring how to survive, they force them to leave her forever. And in some instances, if she ever runs across any of them and they challenge or threaten her, her basic survival instincts kick-in, and she view them as just another asshole in the jungle and will kill them on the spot if necessary.
I’m not suggesting that human mothers kill their adult children. I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT AT ALL! But what I am saying is this: Never, ever allow yourself to be subjugated (dominated or conquered) by something you "shitted out," (birthed). Do not be afraid to have them arrested--and by all means, go to court; make them suffer the consequences. And pu-leeeeze distance yourself from your child and their reach.
Many people who are familiar with my decision to expel my daughter from my life [use to] to say to me: "Saishe, that's your daughter!" My reply: "Yeah. And therefore what? You honestly believe I'm suppose to humble myself to the epitome of terriorism from a kid I gave birth to? You have got to be out of your mind as well. I do not, under any circumstances tolerate such behavior, especially after a patten has been set."
So I say to all mothers/parents who are being and have been verbally/physically abused by their child: Do not be afraid to expel them from your life. Mothers/parents do not owe their sanity, safety, and well-being to their off-spring. Our problems begin when we as mothers/parents go against the natural grain of what is expected and acceptable.
Respectfully,
Saishe.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
You Asked Yourself: Why Do "They" Treat Me So Bad
Have you ever wondered why someone treats you so cruel irrespective of your track record of always being kind, considerate, and generous to them? I know you have. But you haven’t yet figured out why they are vastly ungrateful, treat you so bad, take you for granted, and ultimately disrespect you even in public view.
Well allow me to tell you why: That person or those people believe you are weak. Yes! Weak! And they have absolutely no respect for you. In fact, they hate you, but they want to keep receiving what you are giving.
Take a minute—or several if need be—to consider the laws of nature/the law of the jungle—where being weak gets you killed.
When an animal is perceived to possess weaknesses such as being meek (gentle), sick or injured, fearful, or old, they are targeted to be destroyed (killed and/or consumed). Animals do this because they have zero-tolerance for [all of the above] weaknesses, i.e., weak energy is a profound aggravation, and the only way to overcome it is to terrorize it and destroy it. The same holds true among humans.
Cesar Milan (the “Dog Whisper”) often advise people that dogs perceive all of the above as weaknesses and naturally position themselves to challenge or harm you because they do not respect and will never submit to a “weak-energy” pack leader. Humans function exactly the same way—we just find it unacceptable.
Eons ago, a wise person declared: “People take kindness for weakness.” Meaning: When people think you are weak, they will prey upon your kindness and destroy you with words, acts of cruelty, and ultimately via physical destruction or elimination. This innate (natural) behavior among humans is identical to the natural behavior among animals—cold and warm-blooded.
Upon my acceptance of this sad but true reality, I find myself withdrawing from perpetrators of evil and demonstrators of ungratefulness—even among family, including my own child. I’m more silent about offering kind gestures and I’m completely intolerant of those who seek to offend acts of good will and compassion. I no longer second-guess whether “this person” meant to hurt me. Like animals, I totally rely on [my] instinct: If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t right. I do not continue along “that” path with trepidation (fear). Rather, I go in the opposite direction—away from “it” just as my instinct instructed me to do. As opposed to holding on to someone or some thing that has demonstrated over-and-over their contempt (disrespect/hatred) for my genuine and unconditional kindness, I’ve garnered the strength and courage to let them know then let them [“it”] go—permanently. No matter how much I love[d] them, and no matter how much I didn’t want to lose them, I walked completely away—never looking back. And it feels good. Oh so good. I’m at peace now—lonely but at peace. There is no noise in my life.
It’s that simple.
Now that you know let “it” and/or “them” go. Immediately after, you’ll find peace like I did.
I’m just sharing and saying!
Saishe Brokesom
Well allow me to tell you why: That person or those people believe you are weak. Yes! Weak! And they have absolutely no respect for you. In fact, they hate you, but they want to keep receiving what you are giving.
Take a minute—or several if need be—to consider the laws of nature/the law of the jungle—where being weak gets you killed.
When an animal is perceived to possess weaknesses such as being meek (gentle), sick or injured, fearful, or old, they are targeted to be destroyed (killed and/or consumed). Animals do this because they have zero-tolerance for [all of the above] weaknesses, i.e., weak energy is a profound aggravation, and the only way to overcome it is to terrorize it and destroy it. The same holds true among humans.
Cesar Milan (the “Dog Whisper”) often advise people that dogs perceive all of the above as weaknesses and naturally position themselves to challenge or harm you because they do not respect and will never submit to a “weak-energy” pack leader. Humans function exactly the same way—we just find it unacceptable.
Eons ago, a wise person declared: “People take kindness for weakness.” Meaning: When people think you are weak, they will prey upon your kindness and destroy you with words, acts of cruelty, and ultimately via physical destruction or elimination. This innate (natural) behavior among humans is identical to the natural behavior among animals—cold and warm-blooded.
Upon my acceptance of this sad but true reality, I find myself withdrawing from perpetrators of evil and demonstrators of ungratefulness—even among family, including my own child. I’m more silent about offering kind gestures and I’m completely intolerant of those who seek to offend acts of good will and compassion. I no longer second-guess whether “this person” meant to hurt me. Like animals, I totally rely on [my] instinct: If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t right. I do not continue along “that” path with trepidation (fear). Rather, I go in the opposite direction—away from “it” just as my instinct instructed me to do. As opposed to holding on to someone or some thing that has demonstrated over-and-over their contempt (disrespect/hatred) for my genuine and unconditional kindness, I’ve garnered the strength and courage to let them know then let them [“it”] go—permanently. No matter how much I love[d] them, and no matter how much I didn’t want to lose them, I walked completely away—never looking back. And it feels good. Oh so good. I’m at peace now—lonely but at peace. There is no noise in my life.
It’s that simple.
Now that you know let “it” and/or “them” go. Immediately after, you’ll find peace like I did.
I’m just sharing and saying!
Saishe Brokesom
Monday, February 4, 2013
Sibling Rivalry Is Unhealthy for Sisters and Brothers.
The sibling rivalry between me and one of my sisters has lasted a life-time.
I have a sister who is “the middle” child. She’s smart—with a high IQ.
When we were kids, this particular sister was the primary focus of our mother’s constant rage. And I always knew the frequent physical abuse she (we) suffered at the hands of our mother affected my sister, and would do so for the rest of her life—and it has.
Growing up, my relationship with my sister was always rocky; and her relationship with our oldest sister was distant because she knew our oldest sister was not to be harassed, disturbed, or otherwise “messed with.” I figured my sister’s unremitting physical and verbal attacks on me was due to the abuse she experienced from our mother. So I overlooked and forgave her for much of the guff and fights she started with me.
There were instances where my enemy-sister caused notable physical injury to me, i.e., on one occasion, while holding a thick papermate ink pen as if she was about to throw a dart into a dart board--from across the room, she said to me: I'm going to strike you in the eye and knock your eyeball out; and with great precision and velocity she unleashed the ink pen in dart fashion striking me directly in my eye. Our oldest sister beat her until both her eyes were blackened and her nose was broken. (Note: When we were kids, we fought nearly to the death.) Unfortunately, the terrible beatings our olderest sister would subject my enemy-sister to were not sufficient to deter my enemy-sister's violent behavior.
On another occasion, my enemy-sister told me to lay my hands flat in the windowsill directly under the raised window. Like a fool, I placed both my hands across the window ledge and she slammed the window down as hard as she could, fracturing my right hand. Again, our oldest sister stomped, beat, and threw her out of our first-floor window into the back yard--luckily my enemy-sister was not seriously injury from the fall. However, after this particular instance, our oldest sister insisted that she teach me how to fight--she forced me into being receptive to "fighting lessons."
By the time I reached the age of nine (I was a thick girl), our oldest sister had taught me how to fight. She and I use to practice-fight everyday; and she told me that the day I am able to knock her unconscious will be the day I’d win a fight with our sister.
Practice, practice, and practice I did with my oldest sister. She would tell me “not to worry about hurting her because that meant I was getting better” [at fighting]—and believe me we were doing some real damage to one another in our practice-fights: Bruised knuckles, hair snatched out—me—bloody noses, a black eye—me—scratches, sprang ankle—me—raggedy clothes, dirt-in-the-eyes—me again—lumps on the head, and a fractured thumb—me, of course.
Then one particular Monday evening, after school, we hit the field to practice-fight, and within 5 minutes, I knocked her out cold. When she fell backwards, I knelt next to her, shook her—she was slobbering from one corner of her mouth—I put my mouth under her nose to check her breathing—she was breathing. I jumped up in shear animation, shouting: I DID IT! I DID IT! I FINALLY KNOCKED HER OUT. (My hand was throbbing really bad.)
Our mother heard me in the field shouting, and from the porch, she saw my sister laid-out on the ground. She appeared within seconds. She smacked me really hard asking me what happened. I didn’t care. I was pumped. I exclaimed: I knocked her out! A neighbor, who was a Registered Nurse, revived my sister and walked her to the house. As they were walking up the stairs, my sister begged our mother not to punish me because she was teaching me how to fight. It worked because my mother didn’t beat me that night. She actually thought we were crazy for practice-fighting to harmful heights.
The next day, I almost lost my mind waiting for my enemy sister to come home from school. As soon as she walked in the house, I snatched her off her feet and began beating her. She was in shock. First, she could not believe that I started the fight, and secondly she was flabbergasted that I was winning. She was strong as panther-piss just like our oldest sister. But I had become even stronger. I fought her like a wild animal. We fought all over the house with our oldest sister coaching me every step of the way on where and how to hit her. My oldest sister was fanatically screaming at me: “KNOCK HER THE HELL OUT! DO IT NOW!” Then I surprised my sister-opponent: I hit her dead-center of her face, knocking her out cold. I hit her so hard, I broke my hand. I was so maxed with adrenaline that initially I didn’t even feel the pain until I tried to move my hand.
When my mother got home, she had to take me to ER. I was so proud of myself. But what I didn’t know was that fight would set the stage for us to fight everyday for the next 6 years—we never missed a day, and I never lost another fight with her. Unfortunately, her hatred of me slowly began to build.
As adults, I recognized that my sister’s hatred of me was real. It consumed her. It extended beyond sibling rivalry and was stringent. Her hatred and jealousy was obvious to everyone that knows us, even to strangers. But I still treated her with dignity, love, and respect. Yet, she never missed an opportunity to betray and hurt me.
The things she would do and say were ghastly. Things got so bad between us that I had to eliminate her from my life. To this day—in the year 2013—my sister frequently calls—all of my phones—to cuss me out, threaten me, and harass me.
Although I would welcome and love to have a stable, non-confrontational, loving relationship with her, I know that will never happen—it never has. Therefore, I do not allow her in my life or my home.
So my advice is this: If you have children and you notice the rivalry between them is regular, check it. Get to the bottom of the problem in order to help them resolve their issues with one another.
Why?
Because sibling rivalry can last a life time—take it from me. I know. I’m living it.
Believe, Saishe!
I have a sister who is “the middle” child. She’s smart—with a high IQ.
When we were kids, this particular sister was the primary focus of our mother’s constant rage. And I always knew the frequent physical abuse she (we) suffered at the hands of our mother affected my sister, and would do so for the rest of her life—and it has.
Growing up, my relationship with my sister was always rocky; and her relationship with our oldest sister was distant because she knew our oldest sister was not to be harassed, disturbed, or otherwise “messed with.” I figured my sister’s unremitting physical and verbal attacks on me was due to the abuse she experienced from our mother. So I overlooked and forgave her for much of the guff and fights she started with me.
There were instances where my enemy-sister caused notable physical injury to me, i.e., on one occasion, while holding a thick papermate ink pen as if she was about to throw a dart into a dart board--from across the room, she said to me: I'm going to strike you in the eye and knock your eyeball out; and with great precision and velocity she unleashed the ink pen in dart fashion striking me directly in my eye. Our oldest sister beat her until both her eyes were blackened and her nose was broken. (Note: When we were kids, we fought nearly to the death.) Unfortunately, the terrible beatings our olderest sister would subject my enemy-sister to were not sufficient to deter my enemy-sister's violent behavior.
On another occasion, my enemy-sister told me to lay my hands flat in the windowsill directly under the raised window. Like a fool, I placed both my hands across the window ledge and she slammed the window down as hard as she could, fracturing my right hand. Again, our oldest sister stomped, beat, and threw her out of our first-floor window into the back yard--luckily my enemy-sister was not seriously injury from the fall. However, after this particular instance, our oldest sister insisted that she teach me how to fight--she forced me into being receptive to "fighting lessons."
By the time I reached the age of nine (I was a thick girl), our oldest sister had taught me how to fight. She and I use to practice-fight everyday; and she told me that the day I am able to knock her unconscious will be the day I’d win a fight with our sister.
Practice, practice, and practice I did with my oldest sister. She would tell me “not to worry about hurting her because that meant I was getting better” [at fighting]—and believe me we were doing some real damage to one another in our practice-fights: Bruised knuckles, hair snatched out—me—bloody noses, a black eye—me—scratches, sprang ankle—me—raggedy clothes, dirt-in-the-eyes—me again—lumps on the head, and a fractured thumb—me, of course.
Then one particular Monday evening, after school, we hit the field to practice-fight, and within 5 minutes, I knocked her out cold. When she fell backwards, I knelt next to her, shook her—she was slobbering from one corner of her mouth—I put my mouth under her nose to check her breathing—she was breathing. I jumped up in shear animation, shouting: I DID IT! I DID IT! I FINALLY KNOCKED HER OUT. (My hand was throbbing really bad.)
Our mother heard me in the field shouting, and from the porch, she saw my sister laid-out on the ground. She appeared within seconds. She smacked me really hard asking me what happened. I didn’t care. I was pumped. I exclaimed: I knocked her out! A neighbor, who was a Registered Nurse, revived my sister and walked her to the house. As they were walking up the stairs, my sister begged our mother not to punish me because she was teaching me how to fight. It worked because my mother didn’t beat me that night. She actually thought we were crazy for practice-fighting to harmful heights.
The next day, I almost lost my mind waiting for my enemy sister to come home from school. As soon as she walked in the house, I snatched her off her feet and began beating her. She was in shock. First, she could not believe that I started the fight, and secondly she was flabbergasted that I was winning. She was strong as panther-piss just like our oldest sister. But I had become even stronger. I fought her like a wild animal. We fought all over the house with our oldest sister coaching me every step of the way on where and how to hit her. My oldest sister was fanatically screaming at me: “KNOCK HER THE HELL OUT! DO IT NOW!” Then I surprised my sister-opponent: I hit her dead-center of her face, knocking her out cold. I hit her so hard, I broke my hand. I was so maxed with adrenaline that initially I didn’t even feel the pain until I tried to move my hand.
When my mother got home, she had to take me to ER. I was so proud of myself. But what I didn’t know was that fight would set the stage for us to fight everyday for the next 6 years—we never missed a day, and I never lost another fight with her. Unfortunately, her hatred of me slowly began to build.
As adults, I recognized that my sister’s hatred of me was real. It consumed her. It extended beyond sibling rivalry and was stringent. Her hatred and jealousy was obvious to everyone that knows us, even to strangers. But I still treated her with dignity, love, and respect. Yet, she never missed an opportunity to betray and hurt me.
The things she would do and say were ghastly. Things got so bad between us that I had to eliminate her from my life. To this day—in the year 2013—my sister frequently calls—all of my phones—to cuss me out, threaten me, and harass me.
Although I would welcome and love to have a stable, non-confrontational, loving relationship with her, I know that will never happen—it never has. Therefore, I do not allow her in my life or my home.
So my advice is this: If you have children and you notice the rivalry between them is regular, check it. Get to the bottom of the problem in order to help them resolve their issues with one another.
Why?
Because sibling rivalry can last a life time—take it from me. I know. I’m living it.
Believe, Saishe!
Need Help Paying for Your Med? Go to Walgreens! They Have A Discount Program
If you do not have health insurance and/or prescription coverage, and cannot afford to pay for or pay the full cost of your prescription medicines, Walgreens’ Pharmacies—throughout the United States/perhaps abroad— has a program titled the “Prescription Savings Club,”, and annual membership is only $20.00.
To give you an example of the discount benefits of the Walgreens’ Prescription Savings Club, following is the cost of cholesterol medication Pravastatin if you become a member:
"Pravastatin is a “Tier 1” med except for 80mg Pravastatin—it is a “Tier 3 meication:"
Tier 1 Pravastatin 30-day Supply $ 5.00 & 90-day Supply $10.00
Tier 3 Pravastatin (80mg):30-day Supply $15.00 & 90-day Supply $30.00
(Note: This information was given to me 02/04/2013 by a Walgreens Pharmacist.)
Many people do not know about this program, so be sure to share this information with people who cannot afford their medications. Perhaps other drug stores offer a similar program so be sure to ask your local pharmacy.
Love, Saishe!
To give you an example of the discount benefits of the Walgreens’ Prescription Savings Club, following is the cost of cholesterol medication Pravastatin if you become a member:
"Pravastatin is a “Tier 1” med except for 80mg Pravastatin—it is a “Tier 3 meication:"
Tier 1 Pravastatin 30-day Supply $ 5.00 & 90-day Supply $10.00
Tier 3 Pravastatin (80mg):30-day Supply $15.00 & 90-day Supply $30.00
(Note: This information was given to me 02/04/2013 by a Walgreens Pharmacist.)
Many people do not know about this program, so be sure to share this information with people who cannot afford their medications. Perhaps other drug stores offer a similar program so be sure to ask your local pharmacy.
Love, Saishe!
African-Americans Create Their Own Dismal Circumstances
Life minus education and economics equals failure. In addition, the breakdown of culture divided by fatherlessness and supportive guidance—especially among boys—creates an energetic lacking of life-path directions and morals. All of this multiplied by millions equals carnage, a profound sense of anguish, and apathy that is so entrenched, astonishing, and wide-spread it bewilders one’s senses.
Quite frankly, as a human being, I am embarrassed, as well as sickened to the core of my heart, mind, and soul that in the 21st century, our children have proliferated to habitually killing one another and people at random.
I live in Chicago where a total and shocking collapse of respect for human life exist—for which I cannot begin to describe the magnitude of my personal pain and shame.
I travel this nation. And I witness, read, and hear about the same alarming carnage that is being carried out by our children in Chicago is occurring everywhere I go. Our dreadful socio-economic circumstances even expand the globe. Needless to say: I am framed in shame.
I am perpetually flummoxed by the fact that African-Americans still jump out into the street—in mass, in 2013—and march with signs reading: STOP THE KILLING! And each time I see this, I’m more convinced that my people are stuck in a mind-set that marching will somehow solve our problems and/or “stop the killing.” I’m mortified by this.
I really become incensed when I see people like [“Rev”] Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton grand-marshaling fake-marches with people whose kids are being slaughtered in family proportions. And the reason I’m increasingly and rabidly angered is because Jessie Jackson and other “black” so-called leaders know exactly what must be done to reverse the lethal social and bleak economics conditions permeating throughout every African-American community in the United States of American.
During the past 40+ years, never have I witnessed so-called leaders implementing strategies or utilizing the same type of resources and principles they used to better themselves and the lives of their children
Had the self-proclaimed civil rights preachers in African-American communities employed the methods they applied in raising their own children—especially in conjunction with the billions of government-allocated anti-poverty funds they received, controlled and disbursed to themselves and their wealthy friends over the past 40 years—today, we would not be submerged in a cesspool of soaring crime, high-employment, and low education; and we largely would not be “low information” voters. Misguidance and low-ingenuity perpetrated by people like Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton, and most African-American preachers and politicians drives my stringent resentment towards them.
The problem is we—as African-Americans—are still failing to build an economic coalition among ourselves to divert a massive portion of the half-trillion dollars+ we contribute to the national economy in ways that will directly improve our economic conditions—especially for our fathers, husbands and sons.
I cannot—for the life of me—wrap my mind around why African-Americans are so economically backwards and against one another. Somebody! Please help me understand why we are not helping ourselves! Coming together to help ourselves is not rocket science—for God’s sake! We are already—and have been for a centuries—contributing to the economic superiority of every race on the planet except our own. Yet, we are worse-off now than we were in the 1960’s prior to the assassination of Dr. King in 1968.
Today, we’re still marching against high-crime, etc. We’ve marched in the past! We marched again! And marched some more! Remember [the]: two “Million Men” marches and one “Million Women” march, during which we spent—for each march—a minimum of $300.00 each to attend. Check-out the math as follows:
3,000,000,000 (People)
x $____ 300 (Spent Per person)= $900,000,000(Nine-Hundred Million Dollars)
Combined, African-Americans spent $900,000,000 million—nearly one-billion dollars, if not a billion-plus—to attend three marches to hear facsimile messages at 2 [of the marches].
*Imagine the prosperous economic impact on our communities had we—back then—invested nearly a billion dollars in an investment fund to expand and create African-American owned businesses and jobs. We’d be better off today—in the year 2013—and many of our people—especially our fathers, husbands, and sons—would be employed as opposed to standing on street corners drifting, drinking, doing drugs, robbing, stealing, and killing.
But I’m ready to try again to do something about it! I’m so ready,
Mid-Summer 2013 I wrote to and asked Mellody Hobson, President of Ariel Investments, Inc. (in Chicago) to create and manage an investment fund if we become successful at encouraging African-Americans to contribute to such as fund for the above-stated purposes.
Several weeks after Ms. Hobson's wedding, she sent a very nice note explaining that her busy schedule would not permit her to do so. But I am not discouraged.
My position remains the same, and I am not discouraged. I am going to continue pursuing my people to focus on our collective economic possibilities. I still propose that instead of marching, let’s invest a minimum of $100.00 (One Hundred Dollars) each—millions of us—in an investment fund to put our people on the road of economic prosperity.
If we are not willing to do this, we are not willing to change our dismal economic and social conditions. And, we’ll continue to be disregarded by others, disrespected and murdered by our children, and our fathers, husbands, and sons will never benefit from the power of our economic contributions to a society that is hell-bent on keeping them—our fathers, husbands, and sons debased and subjugated. Let us save ourselves from ourselves!
Are you willing? If so, send me an email to saishebrokesom@hotmail.com and I’ll forward it to Mellody Hobson (Google Ms. Hobson and read her background). In the “Subject” box type: Support of an Investment Fund. Express your views, or leave a comment on my blog with your name and number, or email address. Please and thank you.
Forever, Saishe!
Quite frankly, as a human being, I am embarrassed, as well as sickened to the core of my heart, mind, and soul that in the 21st century, our children have proliferated to habitually killing one another and people at random.
I live in Chicago where a total and shocking collapse of respect for human life exist—for which I cannot begin to describe the magnitude of my personal pain and shame.
I travel this nation. And I witness, read, and hear about the same alarming carnage that is being carried out by our children in Chicago is occurring everywhere I go. Our dreadful socio-economic circumstances even expand the globe. Needless to say: I am framed in shame.
I am perpetually flummoxed by the fact that African-Americans still jump out into the street—in mass, in 2013—and march with signs reading: STOP THE KILLING! And each time I see this, I’m more convinced that my people are stuck in a mind-set that marching will somehow solve our problems and/or “stop the killing.” I’m mortified by this.
I really become incensed when I see people like [“Rev”] Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton grand-marshaling fake-marches with people whose kids are being slaughtered in family proportions. And the reason I’m increasingly and rabidly angered is because Jessie Jackson and other “black” so-called leaders know exactly what must be done to reverse the lethal social and bleak economics conditions permeating throughout every African-American community in the United States of American.
During the past 40+ years, never have I witnessed so-called leaders implementing strategies or utilizing the same type of resources and principles they used to better themselves and the lives of their children
Had the self-proclaimed civil rights preachers in African-American communities employed the methods they applied in raising their own children—especially in conjunction with the billions of government-allocated anti-poverty funds they received, controlled and disbursed to themselves and their wealthy friends over the past 40 years—today, we would not be submerged in a cesspool of soaring crime, high-employment, and low education; and we largely would not be “low information” voters. Misguidance and low-ingenuity perpetrated by people like Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton, and most African-American preachers and politicians drives my stringent resentment towards them.
The problem is we—as African-Americans—are still failing to build an economic coalition among ourselves to divert a massive portion of the half-trillion dollars+ we contribute to the national economy in ways that will directly improve our economic conditions—especially for our fathers, husbands and sons.
I cannot—for the life of me—wrap my mind around why African-Americans are so economically backwards and against one another. Somebody! Please help me understand why we are not helping ourselves! Coming together to help ourselves is not rocket science—for God’s sake! We are already—and have been for a centuries—contributing to the economic superiority of every race on the planet except our own. Yet, we are worse-off now than we were in the 1960’s prior to the assassination of Dr. King in 1968.
Today, we’re still marching against high-crime, etc. We’ve marched in the past! We marched again! And marched some more! Remember [the]: two “Million Men” marches and one “Million Women” march, during which we spent—for each march—a minimum of $300.00 each to attend. Check-out the math as follows:
3,000,000,000 (People)
x $____ 300 (Spent Per person)= $900,000,000(Nine-Hundred Million Dollars)
Combined, African-Americans spent $900,000,000 million—nearly one-billion dollars, if not a billion-plus—to attend three marches to hear facsimile messages at 2 [of the marches].
*Imagine the prosperous economic impact on our communities had we—back then—invested nearly a billion dollars in an investment fund to expand and create African-American owned businesses and jobs. We’d be better off today—in the year 2013—and many of our people—especially our fathers, husbands, and sons—would be employed as opposed to standing on street corners drifting, drinking, doing drugs, robbing, stealing, and killing.
But I’m ready to try again to do something about it! I’m so ready,
Mid-Summer 2013 I wrote to and asked Mellody Hobson, President of Ariel Investments, Inc. (in Chicago) to create and manage an investment fund if we become successful at encouraging African-Americans to contribute to such as fund for the above-stated purposes.
Several weeks after Ms. Hobson's wedding, she sent a very nice note explaining that her busy schedule would not permit her to do so. But I am not discouraged.
My position remains the same, and I am not discouraged. I am going to continue pursuing my people to focus on our collective economic possibilities. I still propose that instead of marching, let’s invest a minimum of $100.00 (One Hundred Dollars) each—millions of us—in an investment fund to put our people on the road of economic prosperity.
If we are not willing to do this, we are not willing to change our dismal economic and social conditions. And, we’ll continue to be disregarded by others, disrespected and murdered by our children, and our fathers, husbands, and sons will never benefit from the power of our economic contributions to a society that is hell-bent on keeping them—our fathers, husbands, and sons debased and subjugated. Let us save ourselves from ourselves!
Are you willing? If so, send me an email to saishebrokesom@hotmail.com and I’ll forward it to Mellody Hobson (Google Ms. Hobson and read her background). In the “Subject” box type: Support of an Investment Fund. Express your views, or leave a comment on my blog with your name and number, or email address. Please and thank you.
Forever, Saishe!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
All Of My Pisces Are Dangerous Narcissistic, Psychopathic Sociopaths
Narcissism (i.e., selfishness, self-importance, egotism, self-absorption, conceit) is characteristically synonymous with all the “Pisces” I know.
Jealousy is a dangerous character flaw the drives all the Pisces I know.
Greed is an obsession with all the Pisces I know.
Scheming is second-nature to all the Pisces I know.
Pathalogoical Lying is epic with Pisces and they believe their own lies; and will attack you if you don't believe them.
Sociopath: All of my Pisces are sociopaths. They're mentally ill. They are not capable of feeling love, compassion, remorse, or guilt. They have no empathy for anyone. And they think you are crazy for being able to do so.
The true anatomy of all of my Pisces consists of deceit; having no loyalty to no one; back-stabbing; incapable of compassion or consideration; they show absolutely no remorse or guilt for the horrible and unimaginable things they do to people. If they are unsuccessful at manipulating, controlling, or influencing you, they make it an occupation to assassinate your character and your relationships with others. All of my Pisces are dangerous, i.e., they have physically stabbed members of their own family with knives. They're habitual at threatening to hurt or kill you in the worst manners; and are notorius for drawing knives on people, even guns. My daughter has stabbed her son twice, and has a history of trying or threatening to kill others, including her father.
All of my Pisces are dangerously jealous of people who share close relationships among themselves, and if they are permitted to be in those circles, they will dedicate every moment to destroying those relationships--one-by-one or in group fashion. The females are especially dangerous because they envy their female friends and their respective lives. They will destroy their female friends' intimate relationships and their relationships with their children. They destroy relationships between siblings, co-workers, etc.
All of my Pisces (many in my family) possess all of the above traits in concert with being pathological liars, sneaky, and extremely stingy, greedy, and materialistic parasites. Money is the only thing my Pisces truly love, and they do anything to get it, even destroy people and relationships. They lie and ruin the characters of other people via stories they create to gain sympathy. Pisces play the "victim" role while they are searching for victims. In most instances, my Pisces won’t come right out and ask you for money. Rather, they’ll give you a sob story to manipulate you into offering [them] what they want.
The Pisces (males and females) in my life, on the surface, appear to be gentle, soft-spoken, and genuine. To the contrary, they are very abusive, undoubtedly heartless, extremely jealous, cold, calculating con artists. They live highly compartmentalized lives, working hard at keeping everyone separated so that people cannot compare instances, verify, get wind of, or find out my Pisces use[d] deception to swindle people out of what they want[ed]. They are always very nervous and paranoid. Constant complaints about head-aches is the first ruse (trick) they'll use to see who will be attentive to them.
All of my Pisces are dangerous psychopathic sociopaths. They are in constant need of and in search of victims. They are violent when they cannot have their way and are completely incapable of empathy. They are incapable of feeling remorse or guilt. They will come right out and tell you they don't give a f---! They are obsessively jealous of people and their relationships with others, including relationships among relatives. According to “Wiki-Answers,” the following is a list of personality traits of a sociopath (and everything on this list applies to all the Pisces in my life):
• “Glibness/superficial charm
• Manipulative and cunning
• Grandiose sense of self
• Pathological lying
• Lack of remorse, shame or guilt
• Shallow emotions
• Incapacity for love
• Need for stimulation
• Callousness/lack of empathy
• Poor behavioral controls/impulsive nature
• Early behavior problems/juvenile delinquency
• Irresponsibility/unreliability
• Promiscuous sexual behavior/infidelity
• Lack of realistic life plan/parasitic lifestyle
• Criminal or entrepreneurial versatility
• Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
• Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
• Authoritarian
• Secretive
• Paranoid
• Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
• Conventional appearance
• Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
• Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
• Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
• Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
• Incapable of real human attachment to another
• Unable to feel remorse or guilt
• Narcissism, grandiosity (self-importance not based on achievements).”
When they are caught in a lie, they act as though they haven’t lied at all—showing no shame. They commit horrendous acts against you, and say horrific things to and about you, then re-approach you as though they’ve done nothing at all.
My Pisces have tendencies to gravitate towards seedy people in order to feel or demonstrate superiority. They respond better to abusive people or people who reject them than they do to people who try to show them love and respect. If you reject them, you'll never be able to get rid of them--they become stalkers.
My Pisces do not like children—even their own. They consider them to be burdens and will do or say anything to entice others to financially support them. Some of them have admitted they did not want their child or children. My own daughter has said this to me many times.* (*Note: Statements such as this motivated me to conduct a decade-long study of the Pisces in my life and I discovered that all of them are identical in character.)
My Pisces will pretend to be absolutely destitute (poor and always struggling). They will do nothing for you unless they plan to con you out of more than they gave or did for you. If my Pisces did anything for anyone, they swindled that person out of substantially more than they gave—and they kept coming back for more.
My Pisces’ betray everyone in their lives. They are incapable of maintaining relationships. They hate people that love life, people, places, and things. They hate you because they cannot control you, but they'll pretend to be your friend because they're obessed with conquering you. They have no remorse; show no emotion or shame. They even laugh in the faces of people they deceive, hurt, or otherwise destroy emotionally and/or financially when they get caught doing it. I'm confident you've seen the smirk.
If your Pisces is anything like the Pisces in my life, let them know then let them go like I did. They are dangerously self-absorbed and will never change. They will completely drain you and your finances. They do not love you--they are incapable of any human-feelings of love, respect, regret. They are empty. They are driven by extreme anger, jealously, destruction, and an unrelenting desire to control everything and anyone.
In the meantime, if your Pisces is anything like all of the Pisces in my life, I’ll pray for you while you maintain any semblance of a relationship with your Pisces until you are able to let go.
I’m not saying all Pisces possess the traits described above. I’m only saying all the Pisces in my family and the ones I know up close and personal are all of the above. They're really sick, and you better believe it.
Tried, tested, experienced, and true!
Love, Saishe!
Jealousy is a dangerous character flaw the drives all the Pisces I know.
Greed is an obsession with all the Pisces I know.
Scheming is second-nature to all the Pisces I know.
Pathalogoical Lying is epic with Pisces and they believe their own lies; and will attack you if you don't believe them.
Sociopath: All of my Pisces are sociopaths. They're mentally ill. They are not capable of feeling love, compassion, remorse, or guilt. They have no empathy for anyone. And they think you are crazy for being able to do so.
The true anatomy of all of my Pisces consists of deceit; having no loyalty to no one; back-stabbing; incapable of compassion or consideration; they show absolutely no remorse or guilt for the horrible and unimaginable things they do to people. If they are unsuccessful at manipulating, controlling, or influencing you, they make it an occupation to assassinate your character and your relationships with others. All of my Pisces are dangerous, i.e., they have physically stabbed members of their own family with knives. They're habitual at threatening to hurt or kill you in the worst manners; and are notorius for drawing knives on people, even guns. My daughter has stabbed her son twice, and has a history of trying or threatening to kill others, including her father.
All of my Pisces are dangerously jealous of people who share close relationships among themselves, and if they are permitted to be in those circles, they will dedicate every moment to destroying those relationships--one-by-one or in group fashion. The females are especially dangerous because they envy their female friends and their respective lives. They will destroy their female friends' intimate relationships and their relationships with their children. They destroy relationships between siblings, co-workers, etc.
All of my Pisces (many in my family) possess all of the above traits in concert with being pathological liars, sneaky, and extremely stingy, greedy, and materialistic parasites. Money is the only thing my Pisces truly love, and they do anything to get it, even destroy people and relationships. They lie and ruin the characters of other people via stories they create to gain sympathy. Pisces play the "victim" role while they are searching for victims. In most instances, my Pisces won’t come right out and ask you for money. Rather, they’ll give you a sob story to manipulate you into offering [them] what they want.
The Pisces (males and females) in my life, on the surface, appear to be gentle, soft-spoken, and genuine. To the contrary, they are very abusive, undoubtedly heartless, extremely jealous, cold, calculating con artists. They live highly compartmentalized lives, working hard at keeping everyone separated so that people cannot compare instances, verify, get wind of, or find out my Pisces use[d] deception to swindle people out of what they want[ed]. They are always very nervous and paranoid. Constant complaints about head-aches is the first ruse (trick) they'll use to see who will be attentive to them.
All of my Pisces are dangerous psychopathic sociopaths. They are in constant need of and in search of victims. They are violent when they cannot have their way and are completely incapable of empathy. They are incapable of feeling remorse or guilt. They will come right out and tell you they don't give a f---! They are obsessively jealous of people and their relationships with others, including relationships among relatives. According to “Wiki-Answers,” the following is a list of personality traits of a sociopath (and everything on this list applies to all the Pisces in my life):
• “Glibness/superficial charm
• Manipulative and cunning
• Grandiose sense of self
• Pathological lying
• Lack of remorse, shame or guilt
• Shallow emotions
• Incapacity for love
• Need for stimulation
• Callousness/lack of empathy
• Poor behavioral controls/impulsive nature
• Early behavior problems/juvenile delinquency
• Irresponsibility/unreliability
• Promiscuous sexual behavior/infidelity
• Lack of realistic life plan/parasitic lifestyle
• Criminal or entrepreneurial versatility
• Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
• Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
• Authoritarian
• Secretive
• Paranoid
• Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
• Conventional appearance
• Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
• Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
• Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
• Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
• Incapable of real human attachment to another
• Unable to feel remorse or guilt
• Narcissism, grandiosity (self-importance not based on achievements).”
When they are caught in a lie, they act as though they haven’t lied at all—showing no shame. They commit horrendous acts against you, and say horrific things to and about you, then re-approach you as though they’ve done nothing at all.
My Pisces have tendencies to gravitate towards seedy people in order to feel or demonstrate superiority. They respond better to abusive people or people who reject them than they do to people who try to show them love and respect. If you reject them, you'll never be able to get rid of them--they become stalkers.
My Pisces do not like children—even their own. They consider them to be burdens and will do or say anything to entice others to financially support them. Some of them have admitted they did not want their child or children. My own daughter has said this to me many times.* (*Note: Statements such as this motivated me to conduct a decade-long study of the Pisces in my life and I discovered that all of them are identical in character.)
My Pisces will pretend to be absolutely destitute (poor and always struggling). They will do nothing for you unless they plan to con you out of more than they gave or did for you. If my Pisces did anything for anyone, they swindled that person out of substantially more than they gave—and they kept coming back for more.
My Pisces’ betray everyone in their lives. They are incapable of maintaining relationships. They hate people that love life, people, places, and things. They hate you because they cannot control you, but they'll pretend to be your friend because they're obessed with conquering you. They have no remorse; show no emotion or shame. They even laugh in the faces of people they deceive, hurt, or otherwise destroy emotionally and/or financially when they get caught doing it. I'm confident you've seen the smirk.
If your Pisces is anything like the Pisces in my life, let them know then let them go like I did. They are dangerously self-absorbed and will never change. They will completely drain you and your finances. They do not love you--they are incapable of any human-feelings of love, respect, regret. They are empty. They are driven by extreme anger, jealously, destruction, and an unrelenting desire to control everything and anyone.
In the meantime, if your Pisces is anything like all of the Pisces in my life, I’ll pray for you while you maintain any semblance of a relationship with your Pisces until you are able to let go.
I’m not saying all Pisces possess the traits described above. I’m only saying all the Pisces in my family and the ones I know up close and personal are all of the above. They're really sick, and you better believe it.
Tried, tested, experienced, and true!
Love, Saishe!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Don't Give Your Son to Gangs
There are many variables as to why “our” sons (and daughters) join gangs. But the main variables that influence their decision to become a gang-member are their need and desire for:
1. Love (Acceptance and A Sense of Belonging)
2. Material Gain
This may sound cliché, but the principle reason why our children are turning to gangs in large numbers is because they are looking for someone to love them.
If you take the time to ask one delinquent child for the reason(s) they belong to a gang, 9 out of ten (if not ten-out-of-ten) will tell you that their fellow gang members love and care about them. Then you’ll wonder how they know that.
When gangs are recruiting your child, they tell your child that they (gang members) love and care about them. They prey on your child’s emotional and material deficits. Gangs promise your child recognition (attention), praise (love), and access to the material things they desire. These are the initial captivating lures gangs use to recruit your child away from you and onto a path of crime, incarceration, and death.
Parents have a tendency to believe that providing for a child is sufficient enough demonstration of their love. But in reality, it isn’t. A child needs to hear and feel comfort like a hug and kiss. They want to feel reassured, and they want to be shown and told—often—that they are loved.
Gang members pump your child up all the while turning them away from you by telling them (feeding on the child’s belief) that you don’t love them.
Believe it or not: The demonstration of love and affection with your child is your best and first line of defense against gangs. I know it works—tried, tested, and true.
With all the children in my life—and there are hundreds—I use[d] a common theme to capture and retain their attention and trust, and that is: I always tell them that I love them, even when I have to be firm and unrelenting in a position that is for their best interest. After disagreements, I never allow a child to depart from me without a hug and a reassurance that I still do and always will love and care about them.
When the children (and young adults) in my life are in disagreement with or seething mad at me, I demand a hug—it softens the situation—before we get into addressing the issue(s).
When they make me mad, I first collect myself (I quickly wrangle and strangle the monster mom in me). Next, I hug them while telling them what the problem is. Softening the atmosphere and energy between us sets the stage for me to engage rational discourse (conversation) to gain insight and/or achieve resolution. I do this without judging, degrading, or intimidating the child. If a child is degraded and intimidated, they become resentful and resistant to advice or directives. My goal is to always keep the lines of communication open with children/young adults. And because I use rational discourse in my approach, I get results.
Often, when I have to intervene on behalf of a parent to find out what is going on with their child, the platform from which I launch is already in place because I took time in the past to build and bridge it with the child. So when I approach, they are relaxed and honest with me. Not only do I let the child know that I understand and am there to help them with their situation and parent, I always make sure the child hear me and understand when I shift gears to represent their parent’s position without making the child feel I am taking sides.
I am honest enough to let a child know when their parent’s approach was wrong, disrespectful, or otherwise not well thought-out. But I give scenarios as to why their parent act[ed] that way, all of which are grounded in the rationale that their parent loves them and want the best for them. I tell them, as parents, we’re not always right, and at times, we need someone to tell us that—which I why I’m here. Also, I engage the child in helping me devise strategies that they’d like to see their parents utilize to reach them. And in closing, I always ask: Do you want me to tell your mother/father, or do you want to tell them? In most instances, the child wants me to “be there” when they tell their parent(s); and some want me to disclose their admissions.
I have asked many children/young adults why do they open-up and talk to me, as well as always tell me the truth after they have shut-down or lied to their parent(s). And 100% of the time, they tell me [it’s because] “…you’re patient…you don’t scream and cuss me out…you don’t judge me…you love me…you don’t be tripping like my mama…you listen to me…you don’t treat me like a little kid…” I have a 100% success rate in gleaning information or cooperation from children/young adults, and I feel blessed for it.
So, if don’t implement a strategy anchored by love to keep your child out of gangs, you will give your son or daughter to the gangs. If your child is already in a gang, use the same strategies to get them out. If you need help, email me at saishebrokesom@hotmail.com
Love, Saishe!
1. Love (Acceptance and A Sense of Belonging)
2. Material Gain
This may sound cliché, but the principle reason why our children are turning to gangs in large numbers is because they are looking for someone to love them.
If you take the time to ask one delinquent child for the reason(s) they belong to a gang, 9 out of ten (if not ten-out-of-ten) will tell you that their fellow gang members love and care about them. Then you’ll wonder how they know that.
When gangs are recruiting your child, they tell your child that they (gang members) love and care about them. They prey on your child’s emotional and material deficits. Gangs promise your child recognition (attention), praise (love), and access to the material things they desire. These are the initial captivating lures gangs use to recruit your child away from you and onto a path of crime, incarceration, and death.
Parents have a tendency to believe that providing for a child is sufficient enough demonstration of their love. But in reality, it isn’t. A child needs to hear and feel comfort like a hug and kiss. They want to feel reassured, and they want to be shown and told—often—that they are loved.
Gang members pump your child up all the while turning them away from you by telling them (feeding on the child’s belief) that you don’t love them.
Believe it or not: The demonstration of love and affection with your child is your best and first line of defense against gangs. I know it works—tried, tested, and true.
With all the children in my life—and there are hundreds—I use[d] a common theme to capture and retain their attention and trust, and that is: I always tell them that I love them, even when I have to be firm and unrelenting in a position that is for their best interest. After disagreements, I never allow a child to depart from me without a hug and a reassurance that I still do and always will love and care about them.
When the children (and young adults) in my life are in disagreement with or seething mad at me, I demand a hug—it softens the situation—before we get into addressing the issue(s).
When they make me mad, I first collect myself (I quickly wrangle and strangle the monster mom in me). Next, I hug them while telling them what the problem is. Softening the atmosphere and energy between us sets the stage for me to engage rational discourse (conversation) to gain insight and/or achieve resolution. I do this without judging, degrading, or intimidating the child. If a child is degraded and intimidated, they become resentful and resistant to advice or directives. My goal is to always keep the lines of communication open with children/young adults. And because I use rational discourse in my approach, I get results.
Often, when I have to intervene on behalf of a parent to find out what is going on with their child, the platform from which I launch is already in place because I took time in the past to build and bridge it with the child. So when I approach, they are relaxed and honest with me. Not only do I let the child know that I understand and am there to help them with their situation and parent, I always make sure the child hear me and understand when I shift gears to represent their parent’s position without making the child feel I am taking sides.
I am honest enough to let a child know when their parent’s approach was wrong, disrespectful, or otherwise not well thought-out. But I give scenarios as to why their parent act[ed] that way, all of which are grounded in the rationale that their parent loves them and want the best for them. I tell them, as parents, we’re not always right, and at times, we need someone to tell us that—which I why I’m here. Also, I engage the child in helping me devise strategies that they’d like to see their parents utilize to reach them. And in closing, I always ask: Do you want me to tell your mother/father, or do you want to tell them? In most instances, the child wants me to “be there” when they tell their parent(s); and some want me to disclose their admissions.
I have asked many children/young adults why do they open-up and talk to me, as well as always tell me the truth after they have shut-down or lied to their parent(s). And 100% of the time, they tell me [it’s because] “…you’re patient…you don’t scream and cuss me out…you don’t judge me…you love me…you don’t be tripping like my mama…you listen to me…you don’t treat me like a little kid…” I have a 100% success rate in gleaning information or cooperation from children/young adults, and I feel blessed for it.
So, if don’t implement a strategy anchored by love to keep your child out of gangs, you will give your son or daughter to the gangs. If your child is already in a gang, use the same strategies to get them out. If you need help, email me at saishebrokesom@hotmail.com
Love, Saishe!
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